Comment on My Homework 46:
For Bianca(T/W Team): Bianca,
Your most beautiful line was, " Some may say that to care for the dead without intentions of manifesting love is cruel but, it is an act that will benefit someone nonetheless and I believe that is certainly one of main goals in the infrastructure created to deal with death." I believe this is a very strong point and one that I haven't really heard before. For such an emotional experience I have found it nearly impossible to not feel sorrow/love for the deceased but I know it's for the best deep down. As always you end your post on an incredibly strong note, by using a question which keeps the reader thinking. Unfortunately I don't know the answer to your questions because there to deep.
Excellent work Bianca
Your most beautiful line was, " Some may say that to care for the dead without intentions of manifesting love is cruel but, it is an act that will benefit someone nonetheless and I believe that is certainly one of main goals in the infrastructure created to deal with death." I believe this is a very strong point and one that I haven't really heard before. For such an emotional experience I have found it nearly impossible to not feel sorrow/love for the deceased but I know it's for the best deep down. As always you end your post on an incredibly strong note, by using a question which keeps the reader thinking. Unfortunately I don't know the answer to your questions because there to deep.
Excellent work Bianca
For Leah(T/W Team): Leah,
Your most beautiful line was, " Looking at him in the coffin was so unnatural just by the fact it wasn't "him." I know exactly how you feel due to personal experience, I know the undertakes and funeral home people try and do their best to make the dead look as 'alive' as possible, but frankly they just don't get the job done. The lipstick, no movements, the way the skin feels is all so fake. Your post brought up several interesting points and questions which I enjoyed.
As far as improvement goes you definitely should consider proofreading more. It really can make a difference. You should try doing you blog assignments in a word document since their spell check is much better and they catch more things than blogger does.
I will be reading you blogs a lot so I will know if you didn't take my advice seriously. Good job and take advantage of the feedback.
Your most beautiful line was, " Looking at him in the coffin was so unnatural just by the fact it wasn't "him." I know exactly how you feel due to personal experience, I know the undertakes and funeral home people try and do their best to make the dead look as 'alive' as possible, but frankly they just don't get the job done. The lipstick, no movements, the way the skin feels is all so fake. Your post brought up several interesting points and questions which I enjoyed.
As far as improvement goes you definitely should consider proofreading more. It really can make a difference. You should try doing you blog assignments in a word document since their spell check is much better and they catch more things than blogger does.
I will be reading you blogs a lot so I will know if you didn't take my advice seriously. Good job and take advantage of the feedback.
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From Ms D(Mentor): Thanks for sharing Abdul. The story about your uncle was touching. It seems ironic that you were pulled out of childhood to face death while in Little Shop of Horrors- although it seems that for you death was sad, rather than horrifying. You raise some very interesting questions. One article that I read about alternative practices is:http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9400E1D91E30F936A15751C1A9629C8B63&pagewanted=all. I was also recently researching cremation, and discovered that it's possible to have your remains distributed in space! The 'ashes' (which aren't really ashes as you've probably discussed in class) are released from a spaceship into orbit. It costs thousands of dollars, but less than the $11,000 that you described. Some other fascinating practices are the Tibetan 'sky burial' which you can see in the movie Kundun- it involves bodies being taken into the sky via birds. It can look gruesome to an outsider, since the corpse is being pecked at and eaten by birds, but the idea behind it is beautiful, that the body is being taken to the sky and the soul released. I also just read a book called Death at Intervals, by Jose Saramago, which considers what would happen in a nation if everyone stopped dying. (The religious figures, for instance, became very upset, because they could no longer promise heaven or threaten hell.) It's a tough book but if you want to try it, I have it in my library. Lastly, what you said about how corpses should never be left lying out reminded me of how that travesty occurred over and over in New Orleans post-Katrina. You can see it for yourself in Spike Lee's When the Levees Broke. New Orleans in general has a unique and I think inspiring culture around death and funerals- look up "jazz funeral" if you don't know what I mean. Anyway, this is a fascinating subject and I'm looking forward to hearing how you answer your own questions and develop your thoughts on these issues.
From Stephen( Protege): Abdul,
You had very interesting stories to share, your family is truly unique. I'm very sorry for your lost but to hear your emotions and thoughts as a young child was incredibly interesting. Not many people are able to stare into the face of death like you are. You are very gutsy like "Bianca" said I'm not sure if I would have had the guts to go to another person's house and interview them about such a topic. Your most beautiful line was " Now at the age of 7 I wasn't smart enough to realize that we were helping him clean out his house because he was going to die soon, and wanted to give some mementos to us." This is something that basically everyone who has an experience with death at a young age can relate to.
Something you could have done better is to clarify this sentence "as for my immediate knowledge about care of the dead, I think I know all the basic insights that someone my age should know." It doesn't make and sense to me since you didn't actually state any of the basic insights you know, or that Americans are expected to know.
As usual I'm pleased with your consistent posts and as always I enjoy reading your work. Good job
Stephen
You had very interesting stories to share, your family is truly unique. I'm very sorry for your lost but to hear your emotions and thoughts as a young child was incredibly interesting. Not many people are able to stare into the face of death like you are. You are very gutsy like "Bianca" said I'm not sure if I would have had the guts to go to another person's house and interview them about such a topic. Your most beautiful line was " Now at the age of 7 I wasn't smart enough to realize that we were helping him clean out his house because he was going to die soon, and wanted to give some mementos to us." This is something that basically everyone who has an experience with death at a young age can relate to.
Something you could have done better is to clarify this sentence "as for my immediate knowledge about care of the dead, I think I know all the basic insights that someone my age should know." It doesn't make and sense to me since you didn't actually state any of the basic insights you know, or that Americans are expected to know.
As usual I'm pleased with your consistent posts and as always I enjoy reading your work. Good job
Stephen
From Bianca(T/W Team): Abdul,
Thank you for sharing your story. I imagine that your emotions at the age of 9 were very raw and influential. I've actually never heard a story quite like the one you mentioned in your first paragraph. The act of going to another's house to choose mementos seems odd to me...I wonder why you chose to use "clean up" as a euphemism - it would have been interesting if you had explained why you subconsciously used the euphemism. I really liked your use of detail in line 7 of paragraph 1, "That was the last time I ever saw him alive. Now while in school doing a play called Little Shop Of Horrors I got a notice to leave immediately and go straight home." You created a clear scene in my mind that somehow seems very familiar but I am not sure why.
I feel as if I can connect to the whole concept of having to be struck with news of a dying relative as a young adolescent. All that seems to be necessary to do is to cry over and over. Please clarify this sentence: "If you see one you should call the cops immediately, and that they can never come back to life in their physical bodies again." It doesn't make sense to me according to the context of the short paragraph written.
Although vague, the $11,000 you mentioned was interesting. To think that giving peace to the dead would be priceless - who thought? The number certainly was thought-provoking and you should've furthered your ideas on that topic. You could've asked yourself: "What makes the seeing off of the dead worth the $11,000 cost, negligible?"
----Great Post. I look forward to reading more of your work.
Bianca
Thank you for sharing your story. I imagine that your emotions at the age of 9 were very raw and influential. I've actually never heard a story quite like the one you mentioned in your first paragraph. The act of going to another's house to choose mementos seems odd to me...I wonder why you chose to use "clean up" as a euphemism - it would have been interesting if you had explained why you subconsciously used the euphemism. I really liked your use of detail in line 7 of paragraph 1, "That was the last time I ever saw him alive. Now while in school doing a play called Little Shop Of Horrors I got a notice to leave immediately and go straight home." You created a clear scene in my mind that somehow seems very familiar but I am not sure why.
I feel as if I can connect to the whole concept of having to be struck with news of a dying relative as a young adolescent. All that seems to be necessary to do is to cry over and over. Please clarify this sentence: "If you see one you should call the cops immediately, and that they can never come back to life in their physical bodies again." It doesn't make sense to me according to the context of the short paragraph written.
Although vague, the $11,000 you mentioned was interesting. To think that giving peace to the dead would be priceless - who thought? The number certainly was thought-provoking and you should've furthered your ideas on that topic. You could've asked yourself: "What makes the seeing off of the dead worth the $11,000 cost, negligible?"
----Great Post. I look forward to reading more of your work.
Bianca
From Leah(T/W Team):Abdul,
I enjoyed reading your post. One of your questions that i found interesting was "
Is it more socially acceptable to have a funeral burial or be cremated, and is that an alternative to the dominant social practices?" I was thinking the same way also how do people in other countries deal with the care of the dead. One of the lines that stood out to me was when you said "My Uncle from my mom's side had just had us go to his house about a month or two before his death so we could help him "clean up" because lots of times when we are young we aren't always told the exact true about death because of our age and how we do not percieve it as children. Just like you i was taught to respect the dead. It's funny how you mention that because if we didn't it's kind of like we have consequences of doing so. I thought that all you questions were well thought out and i hope to find the answers to them as well. Good Job!
Leah
From Rossi(Person who found my blog interesting):I found your style of writing very engaging and I enjoyed reading this post. The connection I have (little shop of horrors) makes the reading more entertaining to me, which helped me, pay closer attention to the work. I found it interesting how you were able to share an experience from so long ago and identify your ignorance. I connect to your work again, in the surprise of the cost of the whole funeral process. Reading the book Grave Matters by mark Harris, there are several things that need to be paid for. It is sad that people have to worry about money while they mourn for their loved ones. Overall I felt that your blog was interesting and engaging however one simple way to strengthen your writing is proofreading. There were some careless grammar and wording errors that could have easily be avoided by simply proofreading.
I enjoyed reading your post. One of your questions that i found interesting was "
Is it more socially acceptable to have a funeral burial or be cremated, and is that an alternative to the dominant social practices?" I was thinking the same way also how do people in other countries deal with the care of the dead. One of the lines that stood out to me was when you said "My Uncle from my mom's side had just had us go to his house about a month or two before his death so we could help him "clean up" because lots of times when we are young we aren't always told the exact true about death because of our age and how we do not percieve it as children. Just like you i was taught to respect the dead. It's funny how you mention that because if we didn't it's kind of like we have consequences of doing so. I thought that all you questions were well thought out and i hope to find the answers to them as well. Good Job!
Leah
From Rossi(Person who found my blog interesting):I found your style of writing very engaging and I enjoyed reading this post. The connection I have (little shop of horrors) makes the reading more entertaining to me, which helped me, pay closer attention to the work. I found it interesting how you were able to share an experience from so long ago and identify your ignorance. I connect to your work again, in the surprise of the cost of the whole funeral process. Reading the book Grave Matters by mark Harris, there are several things that need to be paid for. It is sad that people have to worry about money while they mourn for their loved ones. Overall I felt that your blog was interesting and engaging however one simple way to strengthen your writing is proofreading. There were some careless grammar and wording errors that could have easily be avoided by simply proofreading.
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