To help me understand the perspectives of the people around me regarding the care of the dead, I decided to interview my mother since I am very close to her. The first question that I asked her was "How are dead people cared for in America?" She responded by saying "I mean, when I think of people dying, funeral and planning is the first thing that pops into my head. For me funerals are just as stressful as the grieving. Funeral planning and dealing with the will interferes with my grieving and makes the situation worse than it should be." This was an interesting response, because wills had never even crossed my mind. That's probably because I don't know to much about them. When I asked about my mothers experience with the care of the dead, she said that she had been to 7 funerals in her life. Six of these were in our family. My mom is in her mid 40's so I'm not sure if 7 funerals is average or not. I'm guessing she went to one almost once a decade. That's not to bad right? My mother was close to basically everyone of the family funerals since they were her grandparents, her aunts, her brothers(which was the hardest for us both), and her mother.Finally, I asked her about the different methods of dealing with bodies that she was aware of, and which way she would prefer for herself. "Abdul I want you to cremate me and either throw my ashes over the ocean or keep them in your house. I don't want you to have to deal with the funeral arrangements."
It seems as though money is something that my mother associates with care of the dead. The money problems often collide with the grieving process making things twice as hard to deal with. I think for our family in particular things would be must easier if we plan out the arrangements beforehand. This may seem like common knowledge, but our family seems to struggle with this concept, as certain people feel as though they aren't obligated to contribute causing tension between family members. Although my mother clearly didn't go into this much detail I was able to fill in the blanks since I was a observer to this happening. My mother also seems to have a different arrangement in mind for herself, she want's to be cremated. The first thing people usually say when you ask them what arrangements do you want for yourself is a funeral. It's the dominant social practice for most people. My mother on the other hand chose cremation because she feels as though its less expensive. How thoughtful of her.
The next person I spoke to was my godmother, who I am quite close to since she lives down the hall. Our experiences with the care of the dead are very much alike since she went to my grandmothers funeral. When I asked her what she has noticed about the care of the dead, she said, " There is usually an awake a day or two before the actual funeral which is usually at a funeral home . I'm not really sure why that is but I always go to both. Then there is the day of the funeral which is usually at a church. Afterwards the family and friends are usually picked up in a limo and driven to the burial site where there is another small service." I thought this response was very interesting because not once did I hear anything about cremation. It certainly seems as though cremation is much more rare than a funeral burial. But why I ask myself why? ". I think being buried is better than being cremated because at least when your buried your remains mix with the Earth as they begin to decay. I like to think of it as "giving back".
My godmother seems to first jump straight into funeral homes, and awakes. This is a very interesting observation because it shows how non-vast her mind is when associated with care of the dead. This isn't necessarily bad because she just knows no better. She doesn't even seem to acknowledge cremation in her response. I wonder if she looks down/pity's people who are cremated. I didn't ask what she thought about this because I didn't feel comfortable asking her so. My godmother has another interesting point since she says that the funerals are usually at church. Since she uses the word usually this must mean that she knows of other instances where a funeral isn't in a church. I wish I would have asked her to explain this more in depth as I might have even learned something from her, since I've never heard of a funeral not being in a church.
It seems as though money is something that my mother associates with care of the dead. The money problems often collide with the grieving process making things twice as hard to deal with. I think for our family in particular things would be must easier if we plan out the arrangements beforehand. This may seem like common knowledge, but our family seems to struggle with this concept, as certain people feel as though they aren't obligated to contribute causing tension between family members. Although my mother clearly didn't go into this much detail I was able to fill in the blanks since I was a observer to this happening. My mother also seems to have a different arrangement in mind for herself, she want's to be cremated. The first thing people usually say when you ask them what arrangements do you want for yourself is a funeral. It's the dominant social practice for most people. My mother on the other hand chose cremation because she feels as though its less expensive. How thoughtful of her.
The next person I spoke to was my godmother, who I am quite close to since she lives down the hall. Our experiences with the care of the dead are very much alike since she went to my grandmothers funeral. When I asked her what she has noticed about the care of the dead, she said, " There is usually an awake a day or two before the actual funeral which is usually at a funeral home . I'm not really sure why that is but I always go to both. Then there is the day of the funeral which is usually at a church. Afterwards the family and friends are usually picked up in a limo and driven to the burial site where there is another small service." I thought this response was very interesting because not once did I hear anything about cremation. It certainly seems as though cremation is much more rare than a funeral burial. But why I ask myself why? ". I think being buried is better than being cremated because at least when your buried your remains mix with the Earth as they begin to decay. I like to think of it as "giving back".
My godmother seems to first jump straight into funeral homes, and awakes. This is a very interesting observation because it shows how non-vast her mind is when associated with care of the dead. This isn't necessarily bad because she just knows no better. She doesn't even seem to acknowledge cremation in her response. I wonder if she looks down/pity's people who are cremated. I didn't ask what she thought about this because I didn't feel comfortable asking her so. My godmother has another interesting point since she says that the funerals are usually at church. Since she uses the word usually this must mean that she knows of other instances where a funeral isn't in a church. I wish I would have asked her to explain this more in depth as I might have even learned something from her, since I've never heard of a funeral not being in a church.
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