As someone that doesn't support the home birth movement, the way you presented information, as well as the range of sources created a pretty persuasive paper.
This paper matters to me because it advocates for home birth, which is basically the opposite of my project. It is nice to read what some other people think on the same issue.
Bianca said some of what you wrote was cliche, but as Andy will soon realize cliches make the world go round. Keep the cliches, but watch out for grammar mistakes, and keeping your ideas easy to follow.
Response To Kevin's Comment: Kevin I would just like to thank you for your comment. You were indeed correct when you said that my project focused on comparing the benefits of home and hospitals birth's. I tried my best to support this "new" idea of home birth and how that can be a peaceful alternative to the nightmarish industrial atrocity which is hospital birth. To help communicate this idea more I interviewed two adults with different perspectives on birth. I am a supporter for the home birth movement, but thank you for saying the way I presented the information and the many sources I used helped me to create a persuasive paper. I also agree with you on the cliches idea, how much harder would writing and life be without cliches. Sometimes I think do I have to go back and take out the cliche even though, it happens to just be like that naturally. I will try and fix my grammar mistakes by posting my blogs on a word document first and reading it over once. Thanks for the advice Kevin.
Ben's Comment Said:It seems clear that for your project you were focusing on the differences between home and hospital births. Using evidence such as financial reasons and the comfort of the women, you support home birth as a solid alternative to the mechanical process of hospital births.
This topic matters to me because it is something that I intend to consider highly when having children of my own in the future. Although I am not the one who will ultimately be making the final decision, having this information is essential for women that are unsure of where to give birth. The conclusions made in your project are some that should be observed by all women today.
I really liked the way you were able to connect your topic to your personal life by speaking to your mother. Her opinion demonstrates the ignorance (no offense to Sheline of course) that you depict in your project.
One suggestion I would make would be to incorporate the opinions of any mothers who had experienced a home birth and observed how she felt about the debate. However, I understand that for some people this might be hard to come by. Overall, good job!
Response To Ben's Comment: Ben I would just like to thank you for the comment. You were correct my project did try and focus on differences between home and hospital birth. I tried to support home birth as a solid alternative for hospital birth's without being to biased. I didn't want to necessarily sway my readers to one side, rather than just providing as much information as I knew about both types of births. I hope many people read my blogs particularly females since they will be the ones literally doing the birth. I personally would have liked my blog better if I would have interviewed more people, maybe a male's perspectives would have been interesting to hear also. As far as your suggestion, I did interview a mother who experienced a home birth, that would be my godmother. It's towards the end of my homework 42 if you don't believe me.
Ben's Comment Said:It seems clear that for your project you were focusing on the differences between home and hospital births. Using evidence such as financial reasons and the comfort of the women, you support home birth as a solid alternative to the mechanical process of hospital births.
This topic matters to me because it is something that I intend to consider highly when having children of my own in the future. Although I am not the one who will ultimately be making the final decision, having this information is essential for women that are unsure of where to give birth. The conclusions made in your project are some that should be observed by all women today.
I really liked the way you were able to connect your topic to your personal life by speaking to your mother. Her opinion demonstrates the ignorance (no offense to Sheline of course) that you depict in your project.
One suggestion I would make would be to incorporate the opinions of any mothers who had experienced a home birth and observed how she felt about the debate. However, I understand that for some people this might be hard to come by. Overall, good job!
Response To Ben's Comment: Ben I would just like to thank you for the comment. You were correct my project did try and focus on differences between home and hospital birth. I tried to support home birth as a solid alternative for hospital birth's without being to biased. I didn't want to necessarily sway my readers to one side, rather than just providing as much information as I knew about both types of births. I hope many people read my blogs particularly females since they will be the ones literally doing the birth. I personally would have liked my blog better if I would have interviewed more people, maybe a male's perspectives would have been interesting to hear also. As far as your suggestion, I did interview a mother who experienced a home birth, that would be my godmother. It's towards the end of my homework 42 if you don't believe me.
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