HW 37: Comments on Birth and Pregnancy Stories

From Leah (Group Member): Abdul, Wow I thought all three of your stories were very touching. I enjoyed all of them. I like how each of them told a different story from different views within your family. I like how you talked about your mom having to raise a child all on her own. She is a strong woman. I thought it was funny when she said that she missed the attention she got when she was pregnant. In your second story I like how basically it was the complete opposite and how both the mother and the father put both equal efforts which I believe how it should be. The mother shouldn't have to go through that alone. The third story about your aunt was intriguing I never heard a story like that before. Its unlikely you hear something like this often. I liked how you said "she made a full recovery and went out to successfully give birth 2 years after." That's is very tough but she was able to make it through.


From Bianca ( Group Member): Abdul, Great work! Your words transformed into vivid pictures to the extent that I felt as if I was intruding on someone's personal experiences. I like how you mentioned the ideal age to conceive a child in your second paragraph. All your stories portray the hardships that both the mother and father must bear in the event that a child would arrive soon. I can tell that interviewing family members was quite an experience- the opportunity to gain insight was most definitely pursued. After reading your writing, I began to think about how I would deal with such situations- would I abort my child if I were a teen? What would I make of a father leaving me and my child? This post was very impressive.


From Stephen(Protege):  For Abdul, Your most beautiful line was, "My mother had to be responsible since it was only her, she had to be responsible for two people." I feel your mother's struggles right here dearly, she basically had to do twice the amount of work for one person. She is very inspiring to not only me but other women out there in the world who may know about this or took the time to read this. Your mother is a remarkable woman and should receive some praise for this. Nicely told story Abdul keep up the good work and I look forward to reading your blog posts.


From Ms.D( Mentor): These stories were all touching and powerful, in part because all of the parents had to make sacrifices, above and beyond the usual ones, in order to have children. In your post you showed respect for all of those experiences by trying to empathize with the situations but acknowledging that you can’t truly know how you’d act or judge: “If I were this man I wouldn't have left but instead I would have heavily pushed my wife into abortion. Of course I could be wrong, when it all comes down to real life teen pregnancy I could very well have done the exact opposite.” It’s easy for us to feel certain about how we’d behave in hypothetical situations and I appreciated how you qualified your statement.

Another line that stood out to me was your uncle’s statement: "Boy oh boy watching a woman give birth really makes you question whether anything will ever be happening down there again." First of all, I liked that because it’s a direct quote- the only one that you used. I’d like to see you include more of those in your posts when you do interviews, since it helps to bring the person to life as an individual for the reader. I thought that the line was pretty funny, but it also reminded me of a serious New York Times Op-Ed piece that I read a few years ago on this issue. It turns out that many men have trouble being attracted to their wives or partners in the same way after seeing them give birth. I recommend that you read the full short piece at: http://www.nytimes.com/2005/08/23/health/23case.html. The author suggests that “[w]omen may want to consider the risks as they invite their partners to watch them bring new life into the world. For some of the passion that binds them together may leave their lives at the very same time.” Many may argue that this is sexist, that men should be able to see their wives as both sexual beings and mothers, and their bodies as capable of both roles, but the problem nevertheless exists. Your uncle’s frank statement stood out to me because the Op-Ed piece mentions that many men feel traumatized or disgusted by witnessing birth but never voice their concerns because it is socially unacceptable. Men are now expected to be part of the birthing process. The fact that you interviewed a man for this post shows that expectation- in a past generation birth would probably have been considered an exclusively female domain.

Your aunt also spoke unusally openly about her very poignant story. It was heart-breaking to think of a young woman without support, going through such a painful experience all alone. I appreciate that your aunt shared the story of her miscarriage with you, because unfortunately there is a culture of secrecy in the U.S. around that particular loss. As a result, even though a large percentage of women miscarry at least once, many deal with their pain and disappointment in solitude and secrecy, compounding their feelings of failure and isolation. Your aunt’s miscarriage may have been especially painful because it happened after the first trimester, when new life is generally considered viable. Another New York Times article that I liked is this: http://www.nytimes.com/2002/04/21/magazine/21MISCARRIAGE.html?pagewanted=all. It is a raw, thoughtful account of a second-trimester miscarriage and the unique accompanying grieving process. This piece may interest you because it combines your past unit (about death) and this present one about birth. Or maybe your aunt would like to see it. Again, I think it is brave and generous of her to share her story in a public forum. Maybe if more women did so we could start to change the isolation and unnecessary shame many women feel about miscarrying.

Lastly, it was touching to read about how you came into this world! It’s sometimes strange to consider what preceded us. The struggles and sacrifices that your mother went through in order to have you show a lot. It reminds me of the Humanities EQ: How can we define our past and decide our future? It always surprises me how few people know the meaning of their names (do you know what Abdul means?) and I think that it’s just as important to know the story of our births in order to feel rooted. My story is sort of funny- if you’re interested I’ll tell you next time you stop by the classroom.

Thanks for sharing these stories. I’m looking forward to reading your next post! ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


For Bianca( Group Member):  For Bianca, Your most beautiful line was, "  However my mother said the pain she endured was a mark forever in her mind because it was the beginning of new life, life that was somewhat of her own."  I believe this is a very strong point and one of which I've never heard before. The pain your mother endured was a mental mark in her mind for two the good and the bad. The good because it was the beginning of new life which resulted in you. Then there's the bad because I'm sure it her so much and she will probably never forget it again. You also ended your post on an incredibly strong note, you ask one or more questions giving the reader something to think about and potentially comment on with their thought. This is a brilliant strategy. To answer the question of Is it the pain that creates the automatic bond between the mother and child? I believe so indeed when it's all said and done the mother realizes what all her effort and pain brought her, a beautiful baby. I'm sure most mothers believe it's worth it.


For Leah(Group Member): For Leah, Your most beautiful line was, " Hearing about my own birth story was kind of interesting especially hearing my mother's perspective of where she was in her life." I can personally agree with this story since like most students I interviewed my parents eager to here my birth story. When you began narrating the first birth story, I liked the fact that you mentioned how you were sad a little because your pregnancy wasn't planned. This really shouldn't make you to sad, think about how many people are actually planned, how many people do you think are actually planned especially looking at single child's like myself? I agree with Bianca you should consider proofreading your writing multiple times, and try to add a little more into each paragraph. I felt as though something was missing in your analysis paragraphs but, luckily your was still so good that it could be filled in by reading more than once. Overall nicely done work Leah , I couldn't have done better myself. 

HW 36: Pregnancy and Birth Stories

     The first person that I interviewed about their pregnancy experience was my mother.  When my mother first discovered that she was pregnant, she was working as a manger of a jewelry store in Manhattan. She had recently begun dating this new male friend that would visit and shop at the store frequently. My mom was on birth control and was using condoms in all of her experiences. This could only mean that the condom broke. My mom soon noticed she was missing her periods, began feeling sick at work and throwing up often. My mom thought it would be wise to go the doctor and find out what was wrong with her. The doctor gave her a pregnancy test and they confirmed she was indeed pregnant. My mom continued to work for the entire time of her pregnancy. She took an extreme change in lifestyle refraining from alcohol, continuing to never smoke, to eat twice as much vegetables and fruits as she was already doing, and to exercise regularly. Soon the effects of pregnancy began to show on my mom who went from a 5'3'' 110 pound female to about 5'3'' 150 pound female. My parents were as one could say not on the same page on pregnancy. My mom relished the idea of giving birth to a child in her own words " it made me feel as if my life finally had meaning." My father probably said something like this " were not ready for this child, its to early in our lives, you should just get an abortion."  Eventually my time to leave the womb came and my mom grew sick during labor time and had to have a c- section along with anesthesia to deliver me. My mom received all sorts of extra treatment ranging from passengers on the train giving up their seats, to strangers coming up and asking her questions about me. My mom enjoyed the attention and misses it dearly.
     What my mom described in her pregnancy story basically fit what I had in mind of a pregnancy story.  My mom got very emotional when she was telling my birth story because that had a lot to do with why my father and mother split up forever. My mother was not one of the lucky ones who got to be supported by her partner through this already painstaking process. The situation of my mothers pregnancy fits in perfectly with my idea of the ideal child of having children ranging from ages 24- 40. At age 24 one could expect someone to be college educated somewhat while still having some real life experience. Age 40 is really the latest you should be trying to have kids especially if your a woman since it becomes much more dangerous as you age.  My mother had to be responsible since it was only her, she had to be responsible for two people.
     The second person I interviewed about pregnancy was my uncle. Since he is my mother's brother I was curious to see if they thought or felt the same during the pregnancy experience. My uncle was extremely confident and and happy. He had been dating my aunt for about 6 years so they were very close and knew each other quite well. This is essential during pregnancy, mother and father should be well acquainted with one another. My uncle basically made it his duty to make his girlfriend as comfortable as possible. He worked quite hard himself during the nine month period. He had to work two jobs to make extra money since my aunt was on maternity leave. When the time finally came he could hardly watch as his girlfriend was in pain and all the stress it was causing on everyone. In his exact words " boy oh boy watching a woman give birth really makes you question whether anything will ever be happening down there again." When it was all said and done he was relieved since he could quit his extra job and welcome a new chapter in his life.
     I believe my uncle defeated the stereotypical male figure during pregnancy saying.  My uncle and aunt confirmed that my uncle did an amazing job during pregnancy  My uncle took on some serious tasks such as working two job for nine months and making a more conscience effort to make my aunt's life wonderful. The most interesting thing in my opinion about speaking with my uncle was that he made my aunt take a maternity leave so he could work more. She didn't even have to nor did she want to, but he was able to talk her into it.  It's a wonder my uncle didn't develop any chronic diseases or anything, you would think one job would be stressful enough but two, and he had the stress of pregnancy to deal with it.  I would say my uncle deserves a serious job well done.
     The final person I interviewed was my mom's sister. I felt as though her pregnancy story would be very interesting since she has two. She had a one miscarriage and one successful pregnancy. This would prove to be very interesting. My aunt was only 17 years old when she first got pregnant. As expected she told me it was the most stressful and nightmarish time of her life. She was a 17 year old African American girl in 12 th grade who was pregnant. It just doesn't get any better than that. She had to deal with explaining how this happened to her mother, deal with the father of her child leaving the country and fleeing to be never seen or heard from again, being in high school while pregnant, and falling down the stairs of her house in the 7th month of her pregnancy only to find out her child was dead. I'm not even sure if stressful was the right word.  Her mother didn't really support her during this ordeal and told her she got herself into this mess and only she can get herself out of this mess. She was essentially in this by herself since either no one knew what to do or they just didn't help her out. She ended up having to drop out of high school to get a job to prepare to raise this child. To top it all off one night while going downstairs to get some water she fell down the steps and landed on her stomach. She screamed and cried as she could just sense something was wrong and her family rushed her to the hospital where the doctors declared she had a miscarriage. My aunt was treated for depression for 1 year after this. Luckily she made a full recovery and went out to successfully give birth 2 years after.
      I think this is one of the worst teen pregnancy stories I've ever heard. The father didn't want anything to do with the child and fled the country for reasons unknown to this day. If I were this man I wouldn't have left but instead I would have heavily pushed my wife into abortion. Of course I could be wrong, when it all comes down to real life teen pregnancy I could very well have done the exact opposite.

     The topic that I would like to explore further  Is it safer to give birth at home instead of a hospital, and is that an alternative to the dominant social practices?

HW 35: Other People's Perspectives 1

     The first person I interviewed was my friend Stephen, although we didn't meet in person since he lives in New Jersey I was able to Skype with him. Stephen is in a very interesting predicament since teen pregnancy is not very rare in his school. Stephen attends North Plainfield High School in New Jersey. According to Stephen there are four pregnant girls in his grade alone. That's something I've never even heard of. Anyway I began to ask Stephen what he thought about pregnancy, babies, and becoming a parent. I was expecting Stephen's responses to connect to his own daily experience and interactions with pregnant girls in school.  Stephen went on to say " Becoming a parent is a huge responsibility, not just with humans but with all animals throughout the planet. It's something you truly have to be ready for.  I understand accidents happen but that's what we have the morning after pill, condoms, and abortion for. Now for babies well babies are basically born innocent they didn't ask to be here so I feel as if it's whatever two people who made them's responsibility to care for it. I always try my best to be patient and compassionate to babies since they really don't know any better than to do what they do."  This was extremely interesting to me and quite similar to what I would have said. From Stephen's comment we can tell he's pro abortion as well as me. He think's becoming a parent is a huge responsibility with all species on Earth. This is something you don't hear very often.
       The second person I interviewed was this lady on the train her name was Victoria.  She appeared to be a 21 year old middle to high class Caucasian lady with what appeared to be an African American husband I was sitting on the train when all of a sudden a lady offers her seat to this lady who was pregnant. She gladly accepted her offer and her husband who was close behind her sincerely thanked the woman who offered up her seat. I was observing the conversation when all of a sudden I realized this could become my history project and I could practice my social skills and try talking to a stranger. I was fairly confident since I placed myself closer to the more social skills side of the spectrum. I used my natural charm, made sure to smile a lot, and attempted to sum up things she said so she would be more likely to let me interview her. Turns out it worked. I took out my I touch and recorded the whole conversation. Isabella thoughts on pregnancy were " Being pregnant is much more of a burden than it is a blessing. These 7 months have been so stressful. My sleep has been depleted drastically, I've been way to moody, and I have to worry about two lives which is twice as much work." Isabella's thoughts on becoming a parent were " This is basically a new chapter in my life giving birth and having children is more like an obligation to me. I feel as if I'm doing good for the human population."
     Although I didn't interview that many people, it seems like one of the patterns in this generation as far as birth is concerned is that babies are innocent, you have to be extremely patient with them, and compassionate, pregnancy is a burden not a blessing, it's very stressful, you don't get as much sleep which can have a variety of negative effects, you become more moody, and you have to worry about two lives. Becoming a parent seems to be a serious responsibility,you have to truly be ready for parenting,  and it's essentially a new chapter in your life. I would assume that the reason for this is because many children from my generation come from single parent households, and they want to strive and be better than their parents by addressing the issues and trying to rise above them . All of my interviewees  support the option of abortion because accidents really do happen, so does rape, and sometimes people have to many children due to multiple kids being born at once twins etc . This was a very enlightening homework assignment.

HW #34: Some Initial Thoughts on Birth

     Well to be quite honest, I don't think I have many thoughts about birth. This is probably because I don't know much about it. I know the obvious things of course such as, a women gets pregnant, then after about 9 months that women goes into labor. This usually happens at a hospital where the women is cared for by doctors and hospital staff. I also know that a woman can have a baby at home, instead of going to the hospital. Of course afterwards you have to take the baby somewhere so that the baby can get fingerprints, and can be evaluated to see how healthy it is or isn't.
    When I hear the word birth I also think of things such as teen pregnancy and abortion. Abortion in America is a terribly controversial topic which digs into religious views, and moral views. Teen pregnancy is very high in America, personally I only know one girl under the age of 18 that has had a baby, I think this is an unreasonable age to raise a kid. In my eyes 18 is the youngest someone can have a child without me looking down on them.One thing that I am extremely looking forward to from this unit, is the different kinds of dominant social practices associated with birth? Will they be as weird as they were before? How is America dealing with the nightmarish industrial atrocity compared to other countries? From the previous units America doesn't seem to be on top or near the top with their food, or their illness and dying care. I believe France has the best healthcare system in the world, and I'm not sure who has the best food in the world but it's definitely not America? What a surprise?
     Questions: ( In order of importance 1 being most important 6 being least)
1.Why are almost all children born in hospitals and how did that come to be the norm in America?
2. Are the alternatives social practices more difficult to reach/attain as they have been in the previous units, especially the food unit?
3. Is it safer to give birth at home instead of a hospital, and is that an alternative to the dominant social practices?
4 What are the main correlations between illness and dying and birth?
5.Has there been much movement to prevent the nightmarish industrial atrocities, and if so how are we comparing to other countries with this atrocity( Example: Is Birth safer in Japan oppose to America, and how can we fix this?)?
6.Will there be a video of a woman giving birth, or will there be videos of different animals giving birth?

HW 33: Comments Four

For Omar:   Your most beautiful line was, " I always thought of the doctor and medicine and the healthcare system in general as something that was obviously corrupted but could be effective if it was actually for the benefit of people." This is very interesting to me why did you think the healthcare system was corrupt before? How did you know was it personal experience, or did a friend or family member inform you. Had it not been for this unit I probably wouldn't have even known this until my adult years. Overall nicely done Omar way to be concise.


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From Omar:  Didn't post on my blog.

From Stephen( Younger Person)  For Abdul, Your most beautiful line was"Now this doesn't mean you should try and die or kill yourself, it just means if death is the only outcome or your odds are that slim be grateful for the time you had on Earth and get ready to have all your questions about the afterlife answered." This is a really smart line, people should definitely be grateful for what they receive and the memories and events they have before it's to late. It's also probably true when you die that all your answers about the afterlife are answered. Good job Abdul on your blogpost keep up the goodwork.


From Ms.D:  I agree with Stephen, I was also struck by your idea that we can look forward to having our "questions about the afterlife answered." In a way, though, they'll only be answered if we are in some way conscious. For example if we're in heaven, or even hell, then we'll know what happened to us. But if our soul/spirit/mind/consciousness or whatever you want to call it simply ends when our heart stops beating, then are our questions answered? The answer will be there, but we won't be around to know it... And then that brings up reincarnation- if it exists, does the soul know that it will be reincarnated? Does it have any choice in how and into which body? I'm thinking all of this because I just finished a World Religions unit and it seems that one of the driving forces behind religions is the answers they provide people about the afterlife. As afraid as some people, especially many Christians, are of hell, people seem even more terrified of the idea that there is simply nothing after death, and religion can provide an antidote to that terror. They've done studies showing that prayer doesn't help people recover from illness (http://www.nytimes.com/2006/03/31/health/31pray.html) but at the same time it does seem that people with strong religious faith who believe that they have earned a pleasant afterlife are less afraid of death, both for themselves and their loved ones. Has religion come up for you in this unit? It seems inextricably linked to most people's experiences with death...
In my last post I asked what alternate health care system you would prefer to the one that we have in the U.S., and you started to answer that in this post, which I appreciated. The socialist health care model has more issues and problems than were presented in Sicko, but also has some distinct advantages over our system. 
In general it seems that you've been thoughtful about the material covered in this unit and I look forward to your thoughts on birth...

Homework #32: Thought Following Illness and Dying Unit

    This unit was more enlightening than I thought it would be. At first I was spectacle about the unit, but that was only because of the name illness and dying. I thought to myself what could Andy possibly have to teach us about this, there's no way this can be as interesting and beneficial to my life as the food unit. I guess I was wrong. My only experiences with terminal illness and dying have come from family related deaths. I was able to watch and experience my grandmother die from lung cancer, it was quite a sight. I'd rather not see anyone else go through that again. My uncle died of aids in 2002 and I saw him about 3 months before he died, he looked extremely healthy but he still died and had a close casket.  This prepared me for the subject we were about to tackle in school.  Apparently there is a nightmarish industrial atrocity in most of our dominant social practices, and this is one of them. Because of the health care system America has those who need the insurance are often denied due to profit incentives that date back to the Nixon presidency.  The movie Sicko, as long as the movie Food Inc seemed to be the light at the end of my tunnel. The movie Sicko provided that alternative to the problems we have socialized medicine. Looking at the facts and statistics provided in Sicko, and Mr. Harker's blog it would be more beneficial if we switched to socialized medicine. But of course the Republicans and others wouldn't have this at all.
     This unit did have some more bright sides, it made me feel as if I should enjoy life more.  The key to dealing with death to me is to welcome it. Now this doesn't mean you should try and die or kill yourself, it just means if death is the only outcome or your odds are that slim be grateful for the time you had on Earth and get ready to have all your questions about the afterlife answered. That especially sounds very promising.  However, if I were to die at this moment I wouldn't be satisfied with my life. I still have so many places to see, things to do, people to meet, women to meet especially, and things to accomplish.
     Now with hospitals I feel I am quite biased since I take for granted my health insurance that my mom's job provided for us for free.  My doctor visits are always pleasant, my doctor Dr. Vharma is a nice woman who doesn't seem to not have a personal relationship with her patients. I love the doctor so much I look forward to going there, being weighed, seeing how much I grew, beating the eye tests with my stellar vision as the doctor calls it, even when I'm sick/ have the flu I look forward to going there since I know my doctor has got me covered, and the only bad thing I can think of when going to the doctor is getting shot to help prevent diseases and other things which I get for free.  But enough with me, everyone isn't that lucky I understand this our healthcare system wastes way to much money trying to keep patients alive who are most likely going to die, rather than helping keep people alive for diseases which there are cures for.  Our country has got some adjusting to do hopefully after this recession is over(if it ever ends) our country and re-establish itself and fix things. But, like they say on the news with time comes change.

HW #31: Comments Three

     For Omar:  Your most beautiful line was, " We are focused on fixing the problem after it has happened rather then trying to prevent the problem from happening in the first place." I personally believe this is so true, our healthcare system focuses way to much on "fixing" ( which I don't really see) the problem. If we hadn't set the healthcare system to be about profit in the first place we probably wouldn't be in the predicament that we're in now. I feel like as Americans we have this weird proud ego about our country and things that we have, we really shouldn't though it turns out not only does a our food system suck, but so does our healthcare. I'm very curious to learn what else are we doing bad in compared to other countries, besides education of course.
    
    For Ben( Presentation Comment #1): For Ben, Your most beautiful line was " Overall though, the National Health Service in Britain is a much more effective and honorable system than whatever system we practice in America, and the idea of socialized health care is benefiting a much larger portion of England then the percentage of people in America that benefit from health care, which might have something to do with the fact that about 50 million people in America are not covered by heatlh insurance at all."  Your presentation really made me want to examine and check out your blog. I wanted to check out some of your sources that you used for the NHS, and see how America measured up to them. You did a really god job of explaining both the negatives and the positives briefly in your presentation, which really made me want to read in depth more about this in your post later. Overall good job, and very interesting post.


     For Abdullah ( Presentation #2)"The dominant social practice concerning the passing away of someone who has no chance of survival is to get admitted to a hospital and spend the rest of their life connected to machines that will prolong their life by a few months." This is a very intelligent statement. Do you think the dominant social practice regarding patients should be different and if so why?  I would probably rather live a little longer even if I'm on machines. Overall good work though.Your presentation really made me curious it wasn't as good as I was expecting it to be, which made me want to view your blog more. It was probably just the pressure of trying to sound smart, and the pressure of talking in front of peers. Your was still better than mine though.
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 From Omar: My favorite line was: "this system is flawed because the incentives for the HMOs are all about maximizing profit which can't happen if they pay for everyones healthcare. The less money they spend on procedures in general no matter how important they may be the better it is for them." To me this is the most important part when it comes to paying for healthcare. The incentives of HMO's go directly against the need of people seeking medical care. This obviously leads to some clash between the two. I think you did a very good job of showing this. In addition, by using your uncle to show how truly inhumane the healthcare system can be you gave the post not only factual evidence but a personal reality to open up the eyes of people who aren't really aware of these situations. Well done.


 From Stephen( Younger Person):  Your most beautiful line was" One can also observe patterns between people in America who live in poverty and people who don't have healthcare.13.2 percent of people in America are living in poverty, 15.4 percent of Americans don’t have healthcare, enough said. " This is really smart, right here a lot of people are straight up poor, and a lot of people don't have healthcare. That really makes sense, but it's also messed up at the same time. Everybody should get healthcare even the poor people they just shouldn't get as good of healthcare, or maybe they should have to wait in long lines. I don't even have healthcare but it's a tough world out here, you could just leave the country or you could just stay safe and watch yourself.


From Ms.D: Abdul, this was a powerful post. I was sorry to read about your uncle. I agree with Omar that by sharing a personal story you humanized the issue for readers who may not have that kind of experience with the health care system. if you stop by my classroom, I have a book that your mother might like. 
On another note, you wrote, "I think that there definitely needs to be major changes for our healthcare system to be anywhere close to that of France, and Canada." I'd like to know specifically which types of changes you'd like to see. What do you think of the health care reform that Obama pushed through (and of Republicans' efforts to repeal it)? Realizing that change is necessary is the first step, calling for change is the next, but offering proposals and alternatives, or at least knowing which ones to support, is necessary to move forward. The health care reform legislation is long and detailed and supposedly difficult to understand, but if you focus on one issue that pertains to you then you could assess the legislation through that lens. I'd be interested to hear your thoughts. Or, if you are now done with this unit on health, then moving forward as you learn about things that you'd like to see changed in our society, I'd like to hear specifically HOW you'd like them to be changed.