HW 37: Comments on Birth and Pregnancy Stories

From Leah (Group Member): Abdul, Wow I thought all three of your stories were very touching. I enjoyed all of them. I like how each of them told a different story from different views within your family. I like how you talked about your mom having to raise a child all on her own. She is a strong woman. I thought it was funny when she said that she missed the attention she got when she was pregnant. In your second story I like how basically it was the complete opposite and how both the mother and the father put both equal efforts which I believe how it should be. The mother shouldn't have to go through that alone. The third story about your aunt was intriguing I never heard a story like that before. Its unlikely you hear something like this often. I liked how you said "she made a full recovery and went out to successfully give birth 2 years after." That's is very tough but she was able to make it through.


From Bianca ( Group Member): Abdul, Great work! Your words transformed into vivid pictures to the extent that I felt as if I was intruding on someone's personal experiences. I like how you mentioned the ideal age to conceive a child in your second paragraph. All your stories portray the hardships that both the mother and father must bear in the event that a child would arrive soon. I can tell that interviewing family members was quite an experience- the opportunity to gain insight was most definitely pursued. After reading your writing, I began to think about how I would deal with such situations- would I abort my child if I were a teen? What would I make of a father leaving me and my child? This post was very impressive.


From Stephen(Protege):  For Abdul, Your most beautiful line was, "My mother had to be responsible since it was only her, she had to be responsible for two people." I feel your mother's struggles right here dearly, she basically had to do twice the amount of work for one person. She is very inspiring to not only me but other women out there in the world who may know about this or took the time to read this. Your mother is a remarkable woman and should receive some praise for this. Nicely told story Abdul keep up the good work and I look forward to reading your blog posts.


From Ms.D( Mentor): These stories were all touching and powerful, in part because all of the parents had to make sacrifices, above and beyond the usual ones, in order to have children. In your post you showed respect for all of those experiences by trying to empathize with the situations but acknowledging that you can’t truly know how you’d act or judge: “If I were this man I wouldn't have left but instead I would have heavily pushed my wife into abortion. Of course I could be wrong, when it all comes down to real life teen pregnancy I could very well have done the exact opposite.” It’s easy for us to feel certain about how we’d behave in hypothetical situations and I appreciated how you qualified your statement.

Another line that stood out to me was your uncle’s statement: "Boy oh boy watching a woman give birth really makes you question whether anything will ever be happening down there again." First of all, I liked that because it’s a direct quote- the only one that you used. I’d like to see you include more of those in your posts when you do interviews, since it helps to bring the person to life as an individual for the reader. I thought that the line was pretty funny, but it also reminded me of a serious New York Times Op-Ed piece that I read a few years ago on this issue. It turns out that many men have trouble being attracted to their wives or partners in the same way after seeing them give birth. I recommend that you read the full short piece at: http://www.nytimes.com/2005/08/23/health/23case.html. The author suggests that “[w]omen may want to consider the risks as they invite their partners to watch them bring new life into the world. For some of the passion that binds them together may leave their lives at the very same time.” Many may argue that this is sexist, that men should be able to see their wives as both sexual beings and mothers, and their bodies as capable of both roles, but the problem nevertheless exists. Your uncle’s frank statement stood out to me because the Op-Ed piece mentions that many men feel traumatized or disgusted by witnessing birth but never voice their concerns because it is socially unacceptable. Men are now expected to be part of the birthing process. The fact that you interviewed a man for this post shows that expectation- in a past generation birth would probably have been considered an exclusively female domain.

Your aunt also spoke unusally openly about her very poignant story. It was heart-breaking to think of a young woman without support, going through such a painful experience all alone. I appreciate that your aunt shared the story of her miscarriage with you, because unfortunately there is a culture of secrecy in the U.S. around that particular loss. As a result, even though a large percentage of women miscarry at least once, many deal with their pain and disappointment in solitude and secrecy, compounding their feelings of failure and isolation. Your aunt’s miscarriage may have been especially painful because it happened after the first trimester, when new life is generally considered viable. Another New York Times article that I liked is this: http://www.nytimes.com/2002/04/21/magazine/21MISCARRIAGE.html?pagewanted=all. It is a raw, thoughtful account of a second-trimester miscarriage and the unique accompanying grieving process. This piece may interest you because it combines your past unit (about death) and this present one about birth. Or maybe your aunt would like to see it. Again, I think it is brave and generous of her to share her story in a public forum. Maybe if more women did so we could start to change the isolation and unnecessary shame many women feel about miscarrying.

Lastly, it was touching to read about how you came into this world! It’s sometimes strange to consider what preceded us. The struggles and sacrifices that your mother went through in order to have you show a lot. It reminds me of the Humanities EQ: How can we define our past and decide our future? It always surprises me how few people know the meaning of their names (do you know what Abdul means?) and I think that it’s just as important to know the story of our births in order to feel rooted. My story is sort of funny- if you’re interested I’ll tell you next time you stop by the classroom.

Thanks for sharing these stories. I’m looking forward to reading your next post! ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


For Bianca( Group Member):  For Bianca, Your most beautiful line was, "  However my mother said the pain she endured was a mark forever in her mind because it was the beginning of new life, life that was somewhat of her own."  I believe this is a very strong point and one of which I've never heard before. The pain your mother endured was a mental mark in her mind for two the good and the bad. The good because it was the beginning of new life which resulted in you. Then there's the bad because I'm sure it her so much and she will probably never forget it again. You also ended your post on an incredibly strong note, you ask one or more questions giving the reader something to think about and potentially comment on with their thought. This is a brilliant strategy. To answer the question of Is it the pain that creates the automatic bond between the mother and child? I believe so indeed when it's all said and done the mother realizes what all her effort and pain brought her, a beautiful baby. I'm sure most mothers believe it's worth it.


For Leah(Group Member): For Leah, Your most beautiful line was, " Hearing about my own birth story was kind of interesting especially hearing my mother's perspective of where she was in her life." I can personally agree with this story since like most students I interviewed my parents eager to here my birth story. When you began narrating the first birth story, I liked the fact that you mentioned how you were sad a little because your pregnancy wasn't planned. This really shouldn't make you to sad, think about how many people are actually planned, how many people do you think are actually planned especially looking at single child's like myself? I agree with Bianca you should consider proofreading your writing multiple times, and try to add a little more into each paragraph. I felt as though something was missing in your analysis paragraphs but, luckily your was still so good that it could be filled in by reading more than once. Overall nicely done work Leah , I couldn't have done better myself.