The first person that I interviewed about their pregnancy experience was my mother. When my mother first discovered that she was pregnant, she was working as a manger of a jewelry store in Manhattan. She had recently begun dating this new male friend that would visit and shop at the store frequently. My mom was on birth control and was using condoms in all of her experiences. This could only mean that the condom broke. My mom soon noticed she was missing her periods, began feeling sick at work and throwing up often. My mom thought it would be wise to go the doctor and find out what was wrong with her. The doctor gave her a pregnancy test and they confirmed she was indeed pregnant. My mom continued to work for the entire time of her pregnancy. She took an extreme change in lifestyle refraining from alcohol, continuing to never smoke, to eat twice as much vegetables and fruits as she was already doing, and to exercise regularly. Soon the effects of pregnancy began to show on my mom who went from a 5'3'' 110 pound female to about 5'3'' 150 pound female. My parents were as one could say not on the same page on pregnancy. My mom relished the idea of giving birth to a child in her own words " it made me feel as if my life finally had meaning." My father probably said something like this " were not ready for this child, its to early in our lives, you should just get an abortion." Eventually my time to leave the womb came and my mom grew sick during labor time and had to have a c- section along with anesthesia to deliver me. My mom received all sorts of extra treatment ranging from passengers on the train giving up their seats, to strangers coming up and asking her questions about me. My mom enjoyed the attention and misses it dearly.
What my mom described in her pregnancy story basically fit what I had in mind of a pregnancy story. My mom got very emotional when she was telling my birth story because that had a lot to do with why my father and mother split up forever. My mother was not one of the lucky ones who got to be supported by her partner through this already painstaking process. The situation of my mothers pregnancy fits in perfectly with my idea of the ideal child of having children ranging from ages 24- 40. At age 24 one could expect someone to be college educated somewhat while still having some real life experience. Age 40 is really the latest you should be trying to have kids especially if your a woman since it becomes much more dangerous as you age. My mother had to be responsible since it was only her, she had to be responsible for two people.
The second person I interviewed about pregnancy was my uncle. Since he is my mother's brother I was curious to see if they thought or felt the same during the pregnancy experience. My uncle was extremely confident and and happy. He had been dating my aunt for about 6 years so they were very close and knew each other quite well. This is essential during pregnancy, mother and father should be well acquainted with one another. My uncle basically made it his duty to make his girlfriend as comfortable as possible. He worked quite hard himself during the nine month period. He had to work two jobs to make extra money since my aunt was on maternity leave. When the time finally came he could hardly watch as his girlfriend was in pain and all the stress it was causing on everyone. In his exact words " boy oh boy watching a woman give birth really makes you question whether anything will ever be happening down there again." When it was all said and done he was relieved since he could quit his extra job and welcome a new chapter in his life.
I believe my uncle defeated the stereotypical male figure during pregnancy saying. My uncle and aunt confirmed that my uncle did an amazing job during pregnancy My uncle took on some serious tasks such as working two job for nine months and making a more conscience effort to make my aunt's life wonderful. The most interesting thing in my opinion about speaking with my uncle was that he made my aunt take a maternity leave so he could work more. She didn't even have to nor did she want to, but he was able to talk her into it. It's a wonder my uncle didn't develop any chronic diseases or anything, you would think one job would be stressful enough but two, and he had the stress of pregnancy to deal with it. I would say my uncle deserves a serious job well done.
The final person I interviewed was my mom's sister. I felt as though her pregnancy story would be very interesting since she has two. She had a one miscarriage and one successful pregnancy. This would prove to be very interesting. My aunt was only 17 years old when she first got pregnant. As expected she told me it was the most stressful and nightmarish time of her life. She was a 17 year old African American girl in 12 th grade who was pregnant. It just doesn't get any better than that. She had to deal with explaining how this happened to her mother, deal with the father of her child leaving the country and fleeing to be never seen or heard from again, being in high school while pregnant, and falling down the stairs of her house in the 7th month of her pregnancy only to find out her child was dead. I'm not even sure if stressful was the right word. Her mother didn't really support her during this ordeal and told her she got herself into this mess and only she can get herself out of this mess. She was essentially in this by herself since either no one knew what to do or they just didn't help her out. She ended up having to drop out of high school to get a job to prepare to raise this child. To top it all off one night while going downstairs to get some water she fell down the steps and landed on her stomach. She screamed and cried as she could just sense something was wrong and her family rushed her to the hospital where the doctors declared she had a miscarriage. My aunt was treated for depression for 1 year after this. Luckily she made a full recovery and went out to successfully give birth 2 years after.
I think this is one of the worst teen pregnancy stories I've ever heard. The father didn't want anything to do with the child and fled the country for reasons unknown to this day. If I were this man I wouldn't have left but instead I would have heavily pushed my wife into abortion. Of course I could be wrong, when it all comes down to real life teen pregnancy I could very well have done the exact opposite.
The topic that I would like to explore further Is it safer to give birth at home instead of a hospital, and is that an alternative to the dominant social practices?
For Abdul, Your most beautiful line was, "My mother had to be responsible since it was only her, she had to be responsible for two people." I feel your mother's struggles right here dearly, she basically had to do twice the amount of work for one person. She is very inspiring to not only me but other women out there in the world who may know about this or took the time to read this. Your mother is a remarkable woman and should receive some praise for this. Nicely told story Abdul keep up the good work and I look forward to reading your blog posts.
ReplyDeleteAbdul, Wow I thought all three of your stories were very touching. I enjoyed all of them. I like how each of them told a different story from different views within your family. I like how you talked about your mom having to raise a child all on her own. She is a strong woman. I thought it was funny when she said that she missed the attention she got when she was pregnant. In your second story I like how bascially it was the complete opposite and how both the mother and the father put both equal efforts which I believe how it should be. The mother shouldn't have to go through that alone. The third story about your aunt was intriguing I never heard a story like that before. Its unlikely you hear something like this often. I liked how you said "she made a full recovery and went out to successfully give birth 2 years after." That's is very tough but she was able to make it through.
ReplyDeleteAbdul,
ReplyDeleteGreat work! Your words transformed into vivid pictures to the extent that I felt as if I was intruding on someone's personal experiences. I like how you mentioned the ideal age to conceive a child in your second paragraph. All your stories portray the hardships that both the mother and father must bear in the event that a child would arrive soon. I can tell that interviewing family members was quite an experience- the opportunity to gain insight was most definitely pursued. After reading your writing, I began to think about how I would deal with such situations- would I abort my child if I were a teen? What would I make of a father leaving me and my child? This post was very impressive.
Bianca