HW 37: Comments on Birth and Pregnancy Stories

From Leah (Group Member): Abdul, Wow I thought all three of your stories were very touching. I enjoyed all of them. I like how each of them told a different story from different views within your family. I like how you talked about your mom having to raise a child all on her own. She is a strong woman. I thought it was funny when she said that she missed the attention she got when she was pregnant. In your second story I like how basically it was the complete opposite and how both the mother and the father put both equal efforts which I believe how it should be. The mother shouldn't have to go through that alone. The third story about your aunt was intriguing I never heard a story like that before. Its unlikely you hear something like this often. I liked how you said "she made a full recovery and went out to successfully give birth 2 years after." That's is very tough but she was able to make it through.


From Bianca ( Group Member): Abdul, Great work! Your words transformed into vivid pictures to the extent that I felt as if I was intruding on someone's personal experiences. I like how you mentioned the ideal age to conceive a child in your second paragraph. All your stories portray the hardships that both the mother and father must bear in the event that a child would arrive soon. I can tell that interviewing family members was quite an experience- the opportunity to gain insight was most definitely pursued. After reading your writing, I began to think about how I would deal with such situations- would I abort my child if I were a teen? What would I make of a father leaving me and my child? This post was very impressive.


From Stephen(Protege):  For Abdul, Your most beautiful line was, "My mother had to be responsible since it was only her, she had to be responsible for two people." I feel your mother's struggles right here dearly, she basically had to do twice the amount of work for one person. She is very inspiring to not only me but other women out there in the world who may know about this or took the time to read this. Your mother is a remarkable woman and should receive some praise for this. Nicely told story Abdul keep up the good work and I look forward to reading your blog posts.


From Ms.D( Mentor): These stories were all touching and powerful, in part because all of the parents had to make sacrifices, above and beyond the usual ones, in order to have children. In your post you showed respect for all of those experiences by trying to empathize with the situations but acknowledging that you can’t truly know how you’d act or judge: “If I were this man I wouldn't have left but instead I would have heavily pushed my wife into abortion. Of course I could be wrong, when it all comes down to real life teen pregnancy I could very well have done the exact opposite.” It’s easy for us to feel certain about how we’d behave in hypothetical situations and I appreciated how you qualified your statement.

Another line that stood out to me was your uncle’s statement: "Boy oh boy watching a woman give birth really makes you question whether anything will ever be happening down there again." First of all, I liked that because it’s a direct quote- the only one that you used. I’d like to see you include more of those in your posts when you do interviews, since it helps to bring the person to life as an individual for the reader. I thought that the line was pretty funny, but it also reminded me of a serious New York Times Op-Ed piece that I read a few years ago on this issue. It turns out that many men have trouble being attracted to their wives or partners in the same way after seeing them give birth. I recommend that you read the full short piece at: http://www.nytimes.com/2005/08/23/health/23case.html. The author suggests that “[w]omen may want to consider the risks as they invite their partners to watch them bring new life into the world. For some of the passion that binds them together may leave their lives at the very same time.” Many may argue that this is sexist, that men should be able to see their wives as both sexual beings and mothers, and their bodies as capable of both roles, but the problem nevertheless exists. Your uncle’s frank statement stood out to me because the Op-Ed piece mentions that many men feel traumatized or disgusted by witnessing birth but never voice their concerns because it is socially unacceptable. Men are now expected to be part of the birthing process. The fact that you interviewed a man for this post shows that expectation- in a past generation birth would probably have been considered an exclusively female domain.

Your aunt also spoke unusally openly about her very poignant story. It was heart-breaking to think of a young woman without support, going through such a painful experience all alone. I appreciate that your aunt shared the story of her miscarriage with you, because unfortunately there is a culture of secrecy in the U.S. around that particular loss. As a result, even though a large percentage of women miscarry at least once, many deal with their pain and disappointment in solitude and secrecy, compounding their feelings of failure and isolation. Your aunt’s miscarriage may have been especially painful because it happened after the first trimester, when new life is generally considered viable. Another New York Times article that I liked is this: http://www.nytimes.com/2002/04/21/magazine/21MISCARRIAGE.html?pagewanted=all. It is a raw, thoughtful account of a second-trimester miscarriage and the unique accompanying grieving process. This piece may interest you because it combines your past unit (about death) and this present one about birth. Or maybe your aunt would like to see it. Again, I think it is brave and generous of her to share her story in a public forum. Maybe if more women did so we could start to change the isolation and unnecessary shame many women feel about miscarrying.

Lastly, it was touching to read about how you came into this world! It’s sometimes strange to consider what preceded us. The struggles and sacrifices that your mother went through in order to have you show a lot. It reminds me of the Humanities EQ: How can we define our past and decide our future? It always surprises me how few people know the meaning of their names (do you know what Abdul means?) and I think that it’s just as important to know the story of our births in order to feel rooted. My story is sort of funny- if you’re interested I’ll tell you next time you stop by the classroom.

Thanks for sharing these stories. I’m looking forward to reading your next post! ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


For Bianca( Group Member):  For Bianca, Your most beautiful line was, "  However my mother said the pain she endured was a mark forever in her mind because it was the beginning of new life, life that was somewhat of her own."  I believe this is a very strong point and one of which I've never heard before. The pain your mother endured was a mental mark in her mind for two the good and the bad. The good because it was the beginning of new life which resulted in you. Then there's the bad because I'm sure it her so much and she will probably never forget it again. You also ended your post on an incredibly strong note, you ask one or more questions giving the reader something to think about and potentially comment on with their thought. This is a brilliant strategy. To answer the question of Is it the pain that creates the automatic bond between the mother and child? I believe so indeed when it's all said and done the mother realizes what all her effort and pain brought her, a beautiful baby. I'm sure most mothers believe it's worth it.


For Leah(Group Member): For Leah, Your most beautiful line was, " Hearing about my own birth story was kind of interesting especially hearing my mother's perspective of where she was in her life." I can personally agree with this story since like most students I interviewed my parents eager to here my birth story. When you began narrating the first birth story, I liked the fact that you mentioned how you were sad a little because your pregnancy wasn't planned. This really shouldn't make you to sad, think about how many people are actually planned, how many people do you think are actually planned especially looking at single child's like myself? I agree with Bianca you should consider proofreading your writing multiple times, and try to add a little more into each paragraph. I felt as though something was missing in your analysis paragraphs but, luckily your was still so good that it could be filled in by reading more than once. Overall nicely done work Leah , I couldn't have done better myself. 

HW 36: Pregnancy and Birth Stories

     The first person that I interviewed about their pregnancy experience was my mother.  When my mother first discovered that she was pregnant, she was working as a manger of a jewelry store in Manhattan. She had recently begun dating this new male friend that would visit and shop at the store frequently. My mom was on birth control and was using condoms in all of her experiences. This could only mean that the condom broke. My mom soon noticed she was missing her periods, began feeling sick at work and throwing up often. My mom thought it would be wise to go the doctor and find out what was wrong with her. The doctor gave her a pregnancy test and they confirmed she was indeed pregnant. My mom continued to work for the entire time of her pregnancy. She took an extreme change in lifestyle refraining from alcohol, continuing to never smoke, to eat twice as much vegetables and fruits as she was already doing, and to exercise regularly. Soon the effects of pregnancy began to show on my mom who went from a 5'3'' 110 pound female to about 5'3'' 150 pound female. My parents were as one could say not on the same page on pregnancy. My mom relished the idea of giving birth to a child in her own words " it made me feel as if my life finally had meaning." My father probably said something like this " were not ready for this child, its to early in our lives, you should just get an abortion."  Eventually my time to leave the womb came and my mom grew sick during labor time and had to have a c- section along with anesthesia to deliver me. My mom received all sorts of extra treatment ranging from passengers on the train giving up their seats, to strangers coming up and asking her questions about me. My mom enjoyed the attention and misses it dearly.
     What my mom described in her pregnancy story basically fit what I had in mind of a pregnancy story.  My mom got very emotional when she was telling my birth story because that had a lot to do with why my father and mother split up forever. My mother was not one of the lucky ones who got to be supported by her partner through this already painstaking process. The situation of my mothers pregnancy fits in perfectly with my idea of the ideal child of having children ranging from ages 24- 40. At age 24 one could expect someone to be college educated somewhat while still having some real life experience. Age 40 is really the latest you should be trying to have kids especially if your a woman since it becomes much more dangerous as you age.  My mother had to be responsible since it was only her, she had to be responsible for two people.
     The second person I interviewed about pregnancy was my uncle. Since he is my mother's brother I was curious to see if they thought or felt the same during the pregnancy experience. My uncle was extremely confident and and happy. He had been dating my aunt for about 6 years so they were very close and knew each other quite well. This is essential during pregnancy, mother and father should be well acquainted with one another. My uncle basically made it his duty to make his girlfriend as comfortable as possible. He worked quite hard himself during the nine month period. He had to work two jobs to make extra money since my aunt was on maternity leave. When the time finally came he could hardly watch as his girlfriend was in pain and all the stress it was causing on everyone. In his exact words " boy oh boy watching a woman give birth really makes you question whether anything will ever be happening down there again." When it was all said and done he was relieved since he could quit his extra job and welcome a new chapter in his life.
     I believe my uncle defeated the stereotypical male figure during pregnancy saying.  My uncle and aunt confirmed that my uncle did an amazing job during pregnancy  My uncle took on some serious tasks such as working two job for nine months and making a more conscience effort to make my aunt's life wonderful. The most interesting thing in my opinion about speaking with my uncle was that he made my aunt take a maternity leave so he could work more. She didn't even have to nor did she want to, but he was able to talk her into it.  It's a wonder my uncle didn't develop any chronic diseases or anything, you would think one job would be stressful enough but two, and he had the stress of pregnancy to deal with it.  I would say my uncle deserves a serious job well done.
     The final person I interviewed was my mom's sister. I felt as though her pregnancy story would be very interesting since she has two. She had a one miscarriage and one successful pregnancy. This would prove to be very interesting. My aunt was only 17 years old when she first got pregnant. As expected she told me it was the most stressful and nightmarish time of her life. She was a 17 year old African American girl in 12 th grade who was pregnant. It just doesn't get any better than that. She had to deal with explaining how this happened to her mother, deal with the father of her child leaving the country and fleeing to be never seen or heard from again, being in high school while pregnant, and falling down the stairs of her house in the 7th month of her pregnancy only to find out her child was dead. I'm not even sure if stressful was the right word.  Her mother didn't really support her during this ordeal and told her she got herself into this mess and only she can get herself out of this mess. She was essentially in this by herself since either no one knew what to do or they just didn't help her out. She ended up having to drop out of high school to get a job to prepare to raise this child. To top it all off one night while going downstairs to get some water she fell down the steps and landed on her stomach. She screamed and cried as she could just sense something was wrong and her family rushed her to the hospital where the doctors declared she had a miscarriage. My aunt was treated for depression for 1 year after this. Luckily she made a full recovery and went out to successfully give birth 2 years after.
      I think this is one of the worst teen pregnancy stories I've ever heard. The father didn't want anything to do with the child and fled the country for reasons unknown to this day. If I were this man I wouldn't have left but instead I would have heavily pushed my wife into abortion. Of course I could be wrong, when it all comes down to real life teen pregnancy I could very well have done the exact opposite.

     The topic that I would like to explore further  Is it safer to give birth at home instead of a hospital, and is that an alternative to the dominant social practices?

HW 35: Other People's Perspectives 1

     The first person I interviewed was my friend Stephen, although we didn't meet in person since he lives in New Jersey I was able to Skype with him. Stephen is in a very interesting predicament since teen pregnancy is not very rare in his school. Stephen attends North Plainfield High School in New Jersey. According to Stephen there are four pregnant girls in his grade alone. That's something I've never even heard of. Anyway I began to ask Stephen what he thought about pregnancy, babies, and becoming a parent. I was expecting Stephen's responses to connect to his own daily experience and interactions with pregnant girls in school.  Stephen went on to say " Becoming a parent is a huge responsibility, not just with humans but with all animals throughout the planet. It's something you truly have to be ready for.  I understand accidents happen but that's what we have the morning after pill, condoms, and abortion for. Now for babies well babies are basically born innocent they didn't ask to be here so I feel as if it's whatever two people who made them's responsibility to care for it. I always try my best to be patient and compassionate to babies since they really don't know any better than to do what they do."  This was extremely interesting to me and quite similar to what I would have said. From Stephen's comment we can tell he's pro abortion as well as me. He think's becoming a parent is a huge responsibility with all species on Earth. This is something you don't hear very often.
       The second person I interviewed was this lady on the train her name was Victoria.  She appeared to be a 21 year old middle to high class Caucasian lady with what appeared to be an African American husband I was sitting on the train when all of a sudden a lady offers her seat to this lady who was pregnant. She gladly accepted her offer and her husband who was close behind her sincerely thanked the woman who offered up her seat. I was observing the conversation when all of a sudden I realized this could become my history project and I could practice my social skills and try talking to a stranger. I was fairly confident since I placed myself closer to the more social skills side of the spectrum. I used my natural charm, made sure to smile a lot, and attempted to sum up things she said so she would be more likely to let me interview her. Turns out it worked. I took out my I touch and recorded the whole conversation. Isabella thoughts on pregnancy were " Being pregnant is much more of a burden than it is a blessing. These 7 months have been so stressful. My sleep has been depleted drastically, I've been way to moody, and I have to worry about two lives which is twice as much work." Isabella's thoughts on becoming a parent were " This is basically a new chapter in my life giving birth and having children is more like an obligation to me. I feel as if I'm doing good for the human population."
     Although I didn't interview that many people, it seems like one of the patterns in this generation as far as birth is concerned is that babies are innocent, you have to be extremely patient with them, and compassionate, pregnancy is a burden not a blessing, it's very stressful, you don't get as much sleep which can have a variety of negative effects, you become more moody, and you have to worry about two lives. Becoming a parent seems to be a serious responsibility,you have to truly be ready for parenting,  and it's essentially a new chapter in your life. I would assume that the reason for this is because many children from my generation come from single parent households, and they want to strive and be better than their parents by addressing the issues and trying to rise above them . All of my interviewees  support the option of abortion because accidents really do happen, so does rape, and sometimes people have to many children due to multiple kids being born at once twins etc . This was a very enlightening homework assignment.

HW #34: Some Initial Thoughts on Birth

     Well to be quite honest, I don't think I have many thoughts about birth. This is probably because I don't know much about it. I know the obvious things of course such as, a women gets pregnant, then after about 9 months that women goes into labor. This usually happens at a hospital where the women is cared for by doctors and hospital staff. I also know that a woman can have a baby at home, instead of going to the hospital. Of course afterwards you have to take the baby somewhere so that the baby can get fingerprints, and can be evaluated to see how healthy it is or isn't.
    When I hear the word birth I also think of things such as teen pregnancy and abortion. Abortion in America is a terribly controversial topic which digs into religious views, and moral views. Teen pregnancy is very high in America, personally I only know one girl under the age of 18 that has had a baby, I think this is an unreasonable age to raise a kid. In my eyes 18 is the youngest someone can have a child without me looking down on them.One thing that I am extremely looking forward to from this unit, is the different kinds of dominant social practices associated with birth? Will they be as weird as they were before? How is America dealing with the nightmarish industrial atrocity compared to other countries? From the previous units America doesn't seem to be on top or near the top with their food, or their illness and dying care. I believe France has the best healthcare system in the world, and I'm not sure who has the best food in the world but it's definitely not America? What a surprise?
     Questions: ( In order of importance 1 being most important 6 being least)
1.Why are almost all children born in hospitals and how did that come to be the norm in America?
2. Are the alternatives social practices more difficult to reach/attain as they have been in the previous units, especially the food unit?
3. Is it safer to give birth at home instead of a hospital, and is that an alternative to the dominant social practices?
4 What are the main correlations between illness and dying and birth?
5.Has there been much movement to prevent the nightmarish industrial atrocities, and if so how are we comparing to other countries with this atrocity( Example: Is Birth safer in Japan oppose to America, and how can we fix this?)?
6.Will there be a video of a woman giving birth, or will there be videos of different animals giving birth?