Well first off I did not attend prom this year. I think that it is silly that prom is on a weekday instead of a weekend. As much as I hate to admit it ,there is just no way that my mom was allowing me to stay out until 3am partying on a school night. That's the only reason I did not go to prom. I would have loved to attend prom, for all the reasons that I can not talk about. This is one of the few units where I don't think the nightmarish industrial atrocities of prom are going to make me change my viewpoint on whether I attend or not. Prom is just one of those things that I want to be apart of before I graduate.
My plans for participating in prom next year will include all of the cliches guy asks girl out, guy wears a tux, renting a hotel room and a limo, and all of the other things that prom has to offer. If anything this unit will only hamper my "golden" prom experience. It will make me aware of all the gender expectations, and social norms that me and my peers will be buying into which will just make things less enjoyable. I particularly enjoy the way prom is and I still am not sure that the cons of prom are that big of a deal. The way Disney, and cliche movies have advertised prom to me is very appealing. I just want it to truly be the one night where I get to feel like an adult more than usual without actually being an adult yet.
Due to the details shared in this interview the student whom I interviewed will remain anonymous.
Me: So, how was prom?
Student: It was crazy, I was dancing so much and drinking so much it was awesome.
Me: Wow, I'm not surprised I didn't see you in school today.
Me: How did prom make you feel in terms of were people generally looking their best, were their limos, and hotel rooms after?
Student: Yes it was basically all that you could expect from prom you had your tuxes and dresses, limosounes before and after prom, and people crashing in hotel rooms.
Me: That sounds just like how prom should be, I'm glad you enjoyed yourself.
Student: I did and remember next year just enjoy yourself and have fun.
Friday, May 27, 2011
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
HW 58: Prom Interviews
Interview 1(Summarized): The person that I chose to interview from our age group who has not been to prom is my friend Stephen. When I asked Stephen what he expected prom to be like he immediately being smiling. He described going shopping with his friends to get his tuxedo, getting the freshest haircut of his life, summing up the courage to ask a girl to prom, paying for his limo and hotel room, and just celebrating what may be the last time he ever sees some of these kids. When I asked Stephen why he wanted to participate in prom he explained to me that it's basically one of the most important things in 12th grade. It' s going to be one of the best nights of his life, and he wants to spend it with his friends before he never sees some of them ever again. He even went far enough to say he would consider himself lame if he didn't go to prom saying only losers and people who can't get dates do that. When I asked him what his thoughts on the dominant social practices of prom were he didn't really know what to think. He said to me what does that even mean? Prom is just set up the way it is because kids need some significant event in their life before they go to college.
Interview 2(Summarized): The second person that I chose to interview that is a freshman in college is my cousin Cory. When I asked Cory what he experienced at prom, he described it as literally being the best moment of high school. He got to hang out with his friends outside of school, he got to hang out with his teachers outside of school and see them as real people instead of authority figures. To him this was truly the fun part about prom since he thought his teachers were interesting and cool people, he really got to see this during prom where everyone is dressed professionally but is still chilling. When I asked him his thoughts on the dominant social practices about prom he was confused. He realized like most people he had never really thought about it.He began asking himself questions out loud. Some of his questions for himself were why did I feel the need to dress up, why were the teachers and staff even there, why did I have to ask my date out why couldn't it be the other way around? I left him in the room by himself so that he could take a step back and analyze himself. He needed the time to himself.
Interview 3(Summarized): The third person that I chose to interview was my mother. When I asked my mother what she thought about the dominant social practices of prom she described kids being forced to act into gender roles. "The men have to seem big and brave and force up the courage to ask the women to go to prom. The women have to try and pick out the most beautiful/revealing dress which is often very expensive so that they can impress the men and out do the females. The prom industry knows this and they make millions off these kids. Limousines and hotel rooms it all tricks these kids into thinking that their grown ups, that way they don't mind as much. Kids even have an easier access to alcohol specifically at prom. This is the most outrageous aspect to me drugs at a social event such a prom. It's all a joke. Me personally I didn't even go to prom when I was a kid. I saved a lot of money and time.It didn't set me back socially, mentally, or emotionally because anyone that tried to tease got their a**es beat. It's really just a personal decision that everyone has to make. Do you or do you not want to go, simple as that?"
Analysis Paragraph: While reviewing my interviews I began to realize I had some interesting unexpected responses. What a joke it was predictable the kid who did not go to prom was extremely exited for prom. He had his own Disney like idea of what to expect. All the cliches wrapped around prom could be found from Stephen's interview. As for my second interview with Cory who went through prom already as expected he had a blast it was the best moment of high school for him. Instead of mainly enjoying the company of his peers he enjoyed the company of the adults around him. Could prom be the reason for this? Was he so caught up in the "moment" that he considered himself an adult already? His rite of passage was complete already. Last but not least was my mother's interview the educated older women who seemed fixed on bashing the prom industry, and kids interested in prom all because she decided to not be part of it during her childhood. It was a waste of money to her and simply unimportant. She turned out fine for the most part completing her rite of passage into adulthood in her own unique way.
Interview 2(Summarized): The second person that I chose to interview that is a freshman in college is my cousin Cory. When I asked Cory what he experienced at prom, he described it as literally being the best moment of high school. He got to hang out with his friends outside of school, he got to hang out with his teachers outside of school and see them as real people instead of authority figures. To him this was truly the fun part about prom since he thought his teachers were interesting and cool people, he really got to see this during prom where everyone is dressed professionally but is still chilling. When I asked him his thoughts on the dominant social practices about prom he was confused. He realized like most people he had never really thought about it.He began asking himself questions out loud. Some of his questions for himself were why did I feel the need to dress up, why were the teachers and staff even there, why did I have to ask my date out why couldn't it be the other way around? I left him in the room by himself so that he could take a step back and analyze himself. He needed the time to himself.
Interview 3(Summarized): The third person that I chose to interview was my mother. When I asked my mother what she thought about the dominant social practices of prom she described kids being forced to act into gender roles. "The men have to seem big and brave and force up the courage to ask the women to go to prom. The women have to try and pick out the most beautiful/revealing dress which is often very expensive so that they can impress the men and out do the females. The prom industry knows this and they make millions off these kids. Limousines and hotel rooms it all tricks these kids into thinking that their grown ups, that way they don't mind as much. Kids even have an easier access to alcohol specifically at prom. This is the most outrageous aspect to me drugs at a social event such a prom. It's all a joke. Me personally I didn't even go to prom when I was a kid. I saved a lot of money and time.It didn't set me back socially, mentally, or emotionally because anyone that tried to tease got their a**es beat. It's really just a personal decision that everyone has to make. Do you or do you not want to go, simple as that?"
Analysis Paragraph: While reviewing my interviews I began to realize I had some interesting unexpected responses. What a joke it was predictable the kid who did not go to prom was extremely exited for prom. He had his own Disney like idea of what to expect. All the cliches wrapped around prom could be found from Stephen's interview. As for my second interview with Cory who went through prom already as expected he had a blast it was the best moment of high school for him. Instead of mainly enjoying the company of his peers he enjoyed the company of the adults around him. Could prom be the reason for this? Was he so caught up in the "moment" that he considered himself an adult already? His rite of passage was complete already. Last but not least was my mother's interview the educated older women who seemed fixed on bashing the prom industry, and kids interested in prom all because she decided to not be part of it during her childhood. It was a waste of money to her and simply unimportant. She turned out fine for the most part completing her rite of passage into adulthood in her own unique way.
Monday, May 23, 2011
HW 57: Initial Thoughts on Prom
My experiences with prom aren't really that interesting. I have never been to prom, so I guess you can say I have not gone through that rite of passage. At this point in my life, prom is not really something that I'm looking forward to. This is partly because I'm only a junior, I'm sure next year I will be much more exited about prom. I regret making the decision to not attend prom this year, because I feel as though it could have really helped me with this unit, and prepared me for the experience in the best way possible since I would have first hand experience.
The way I've been taught to think and act towards prom is really similar to the social norms that men and women normally play in America. This comes at no surprise to me, the women get asked to go to prom for some reason, men don't show that much skin since they have to look very gentleman like, and women show more skin so they can look better than the other girls in the room and attract more attention to themselves. Not only do people fall into gender roles during prom, they just naturally fall into them because everyone wants to fit in whether they realize this or not. Prom is simply a modern idea, that could be defined in three words aspirational, approximation, of adulthood( as Andy put it together in class today).
As far as social norms go around the treatment of prom in our culture, the woman is essentially a passive object of male desire. Women are sought out and competed for by men all throughout prom. Prom is just a rite of passage that is supposed to help make you a man or woman. There are the fancy clothes, slow dancing, alcohol, hotel rooms which you pay for, and last but certainly not least there are possible sexual opportunities.
The way I've been taught to think and act towards prom is really similar to the social norms that men and women normally play in America. This comes at no surprise to me, the women get asked to go to prom for some reason, men don't show that much skin since they have to look very gentleman like, and women show more skin so they can look better than the other girls in the room and attract more attention to themselves. Not only do people fall into gender roles during prom, they just naturally fall into them because everyone wants to fit in whether they realize this or not. Prom is simply a modern idea, that could be defined in three words aspirational, approximation, of adulthood( as Andy put it together in class today).
As far as social norms go around the treatment of prom in our culture, the woman is essentially a passive object of male desire. Women are sought out and competed for by men all throughout prom. Prom is just a rite of passage that is supposed to help make you a man or woman. There are the fancy clothes, slow dancing, alcohol, hotel rooms which you pay for, and last but certainly not least there are possible sexual opportunities.
List of Interesting Questions:
1. Did past cultures and civilizations have prom and if so how does our modern idea of prom compare and differ from theirs?
2. Are the alternative social practices more difficult to attain as they have been in previous units?
3. Has there been much movement to prevent the nightmarish industrial atrocities, and if so how are we comparing to other world superpower countries with this atrocity?
4.Would simply not going to prom be a way of beating "the system" of prom?
5. How can alcohol be allowed into prom when clearly we know the drinking age is 21 and most of the people at prom are 17-18 years old?
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
XC: COTD # 4 Poems About Death
Poem 1:Shiralkar, Snehal Amembal. "The Last Waltz." PoemHunter.com. N.p., n.d. Web. 18 May 2011. <http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/the-last-waltz-2/>.
Shiralkar provides the point that you can't see the dead after death. You just get to live life once and there are no second chances.This poem may be useful to people trying to better understand care of the dead because it really gives you this sense that you can be with the ones you love and care about forever. As the poem reaches the end it pulls you out of this concept and basically tells you no this isn't true life doesn't work that way, you have to move on eventually.
Poem 2: Tercio, Ronberge Anno." Death in The Morning." Poem Hunter.com. N.p.,n.d. Web 18 May 2011.< http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/free-form-death-in-the-morning-death-death-death-death-death-death-death-death-death-death-death-death-death-death-death-death-death-death-death-death-death-death-death-death/>.
Tercio provides this idea than when you all life and functioning truly is at an end for that individual. You become motionless and no different than that of a pencil or a door. Just plain old lifeless.
This poem may be useful to people trying to understand care of the dead because it really lets you know that when you die you die. There's no afterlife and no coming back it's all over, just move on.
Poem 3: laughter, Mark R. "Punishment." PoemHunter.com. N.p.,n.d. Web 18 May 2011.
http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/punishment-16/
Mark provides us with this idea that religion and death are intertwined. If you disobey God after death you will go to hell if you obey you go to heaven. He combines his personal opinions on death and religion into the poem to express his ideas.
Poem 4: Slaughter, Mark R. "Death, Inevitable Death." PoemHunter.com. N.p.,n.d. Web 18 May 2011.
http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/death-inevitable-death/
Mark provides us with a bit of different idea this time, he puts this idea out that death is something we must face inevitably. There no escaping it but there are ways to ease your worries/fears about death. Being religious is certainly one of them.
Poem 5: Yah, Udiah." Passing On." PoemHunter.com.N.p.,n.d. Web 18 May 2011. http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/free-form-passing-on-death-death-death-faith-faith-faith-faith-faith/
Yah provides us with this spiritual death aspect. When our souls leave our bodies it goes to heaven with God. Your physical body decomposes and your soul goes to where it originated from God.
Poem 6: Dickinson, Emily. "What care the Dead, for Chanticleer." American Poems . N.p., Published/Written in 1955 . Web. 16 May 2011. <http://www.americanpoems.com/poets/emilydickinson/10544>.
Dickson provides us with this spirtual sense of the dead being around us all the time. There spirits do exist around Earth and can help us throughout our life. This can be very reassuring news to people having trouble griefing.
Poem 7: Dickinson, Emily. "I measure every Grief I meet."American Poems . N.p., 1955. Web. 16 May 2011. <http://www.poets.org/viewmedia.php/prmMID/15394>.
Dickson provides us with this sense that griefing isn't neccesarily a bad thing. There's nothing wrong with giefing but to much griefing can be dangerous. It's not all about you and your problems all the time, and people need to realize that instead of worrying about themselves all the time.
Poem 8: Dickinson, Emily. " It struck me -- every Day."American Poems . N.p., 1955. Web. 18 May 2011. <http://www.americanpoems.com/poets/emilydickinson/10314>.
Dickson provides us with the idea that mourning someone you truly care about is one of the most difficult things you can go through in life. It's something that will be on the back of your mind throughout your entire life and it may or not be beneficial to you.
Poem 9: Slaughter, Mark R. "Body." PoemHunter.com. N.p.,n.d. Web 18 May 2011.
http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/the-body-11/
Mark provides us with this sense that life is something enjoyable that we all go through. Then she completely turns the table and says it doesn't really matter because were going to die eventually. Then it contradicts itself again and says to live life to the fullest because life is short and your here on Earth for a certain amount of time.
Poem 10: Dickinson, Emily. "It is an honorable Thought."American Poems . N.p., 1955. Web. 18 May 2011. <http://www.americanpoems.com/poets/emilydickinson/10898>.
Dickson provides us with the idea the humans tend to think that things are immortal when it turns out they actually aren't. We just want it that way because we don't want to die and we don't want things to come to an end. There is where religion comes into place it provides people with this feel good alternative after death. Immortality with God in heaven, what reasuring news?
Poem 11: Slaughter, Mark R. "In Death, My Final Part." PoemHunter.com. N.p.,n.d. Web 18 May 2011.
http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/in-death-my-final-part/
Shiralkar provides the point that you can't see the dead after death. You just get to live life once and there are no second chances.This poem may be useful to people trying to better understand care of the dead because it really gives you this sense that you can be with the ones you love and care about forever. As the poem reaches the end it pulls you out of this concept and basically tells you no this isn't true life doesn't work that way, you have to move on eventually.
Poem 2: Tercio, Ronberge Anno." Death in The Morning." Poem Hunter.com. N.p.,n.d. Web 18 May 2011.< http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/free-form-death-in-the-morning-death-death-death-death-death-death-death-death-death-death-death-death-death-death-death-death-death-death-death-death-death-death-death-death/>.
Tercio provides this idea than when you all life and functioning truly is at an end for that individual. You become motionless and no different than that of a pencil or a door. Just plain old lifeless.
This poem may be useful to people trying to understand care of the dead because it really lets you know that when you die you die. There's no afterlife and no coming back it's all over, just move on.
Poem 3: laughter, Mark R. "Punishment." PoemHunter.com. N.p.,n.d. Web 18 May 2011.
http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/punishment-16/
Mark provides us with this idea that religion and death are intertwined. If you disobey God after death you will go to hell if you obey you go to heaven. He combines his personal opinions on death and religion into the poem to express his ideas.
Poem 4: Slaughter, Mark R. "Death, Inevitable Death." PoemHunter.com. N.p.,n.d. Web 18 May 2011.
http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/death-inevitable-death/
Mark provides us with a bit of different idea this time, he puts this idea out that death is something we must face inevitably. There no escaping it but there are ways to ease your worries/fears about death. Being religious is certainly one of them.
Poem 5: Yah, Udiah." Passing On." PoemHunter.com.N.p.,n.d. Web 18 May 2011. http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/free-form-passing-on-death-death-death-faith-faith-faith-faith-faith/
Yah provides us with this spiritual death aspect. When our souls leave our bodies it goes to heaven with God. Your physical body decomposes and your soul goes to where it originated from God.
Poem 6: Dickinson, Emily. "What care the Dead, for Chanticleer." American Poems . N.p., Published/Written in 1955 . Web. 16 May 2011. <http://www.americanpoems.com/poets/emilydickinson/10544>.
Dickson provides us with this spirtual sense of the dead being around us all the time. There spirits do exist around Earth and can help us throughout our life. This can be very reassuring news to people having trouble griefing.
Poem 7: Dickinson, Emily. "I measure every Grief I meet."American Poems . N.p., 1955. Web. 16 May 2011. <http://www.poets.org/viewmedia.php/prmMID/15394>.
Dickson provides us with this sense that griefing isn't neccesarily a bad thing. There's nothing wrong with giefing but to much griefing can be dangerous. It's not all about you and your problems all the time, and people need to realize that instead of worrying about themselves all the time.
Poem 8: Dickinson, Emily. " It struck me -- every Day."American Poems . N.p., 1955. Web. 18 May 2011. <http://www.americanpoems.com/poets/emilydickinson/10314>.
Dickson provides us with the idea that mourning someone you truly care about is one of the most difficult things you can go through in life. It's something that will be on the back of your mind throughout your entire life and it may or not be beneficial to you.
Poem 9: Slaughter, Mark R. "Body." PoemHunter.com. N.p.,n.d. Web 18 May 2011.
http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/the-body-11/
Mark provides us with this sense that life is something enjoyable that we all go through. Then she completely turns the table and says it doesn't really matter because were going to die eventually. Then it contradicts itself again and says to live life to the fullest because life is short and your here on Earth for a certain amount of time.
Poem 10: Dickinson, Emily. "It is an honorable Thought."American Poems . N.p., 1955. Web. 18 May 2011. <http://www.americanpoems.com/poets/emilydickinson/10898>.
Dickson provides us with the idea the humans tend to think that things are immortal when it turns out they actually aren't. We just want it that way because we don't want to die and we don't want things to come to an end. There is where religion comes into place it provides people with this feel good alternative after death. Immortality with God in heaven, what reasuring news?
Poem 11: Slaughter, Mark R. "In Death, My Final Part." PoemHunter.com. N.p.,n.d. Web 18 May 2011.
http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/in-death-my-final-part/
Mark provides us with the sense that death is not something we should give into. We shouldn't let death overcome us. None of your actions prevent death. However, I disagree our basic bodily functions/actions exist so that we don't die.
Poem 12: Slaughter, Mark R."A Fresh Endeavour." PoemHunter.com. N.p.,n.d. Web 18 May 2011.
http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/a-fresh-endeavour/ Mark jabs at a personal experience this time. There's this touching story of someone that loves their loved one. He is somehow able to move on from the topic
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
HW 56: Culminating Project Comment's
For Devin,
Your blog seemed to be about this idea that all humans are going to end up rotting no matter what so why don't we stop being selfish and give back to the earth in a "greener" way. Instead of making the decomposition process longer than it should be why don't we just get it over with and give back, even though this may be hard for some of us Americans.
One aspect of your post that I particularly valued was that you provided five alternative to a a typical burial(slow burial). This is more than I learned in my care of the dead unit book. I guess I should have just waited for you to post this amazing blog and just not have read the book. You took the time out to research and not only state but you explained each alternative which is what I greatly appreciated.
Your project matter to me because these are alternatives to our dominant social practice which as we found out in all of the units is more dominant than we would like. These alternatives all have their pro-s and cons,but it seems as though they all outweigh the dominant social practice. I'm not sure if our dominant social practice will change though it appears as though cremation is next on the list to take over which would send us more in the direction of Japan as far as care of the dead is concered. When you think about that isn't to bad since America doesn't seem to know what there doing with issues like oh I don't know food, illness and dying, birth, and care of the dead. Overall great job best work in the class( as hard as that is to admit to myself) I expect nothing more from Mr. Class of 2015 Cornell.
http://normalisweirddevinm.blogspot.com/2011/05/hw-55-culminating-project-care-of-dead.html?showComment=1305676781442#c8043783277546807863
For Abdullah,
Your blog seemed to be about, you wanting to really make a change for care of the dead thus, resulting in an activist project. Read Grave Matters inspired you with the ideas and information it presented however, you felt as though you could take the information and make it more accessible and easier to understand. I think you succeeded.
One aspect of your post that I particularly valued was that you decided to use the resources available to you ( Brooklyn College) to spread the word for your activist project. This is something I truly admire since it does take a lot of courage to go to a college and stand there in hand out fliers. This is truly an activist project, getting out there in the real world and making change.
Your project matters to me because in a way you did three activist projects. You interviewed a High School Student who lives on the other side of America and enlightened him on the death care industry. During this interview I'm sure you fixed many of his misconceptions. The second thing you did was find a Brooklyn College undergrad and interview. What a bold move, whether that person realize it or not you genuinely tried to help them with their life and make the death experience a bit easier for them. The third thing you did was you went out to Brooklyn College. Even though it wasn't necessarily out of your reach you still did it. How many people can actually say they did all of that just for a history project. Well done Abdullah I'm impressed.
http://abdullahisnotweird.blogspot.com/2011/05/hw-55-culminating-project-care-of-dead.html#comments
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From Abdullah,
Abdul,
I thought that the fact that you interviewed your mother was a very courageous move on your part. I can understand how difficult and uncomfortable it must have been to sit there and talk about what she would like to be done with her body when she dies, since the death of a parent is an agonizing experience. I think it is interesting to compare and contrast two different thoughts on taking care of the dead from two different people who come from different educational backgrounds. I think your choice of donating your organs is a noble one and you should stick to that choice.
Good post.
Abdullah
From Natalie:
Abdul,
I think it is interesting that your wants to be cremated with all of her organs, while you are so intent on giving all of yours away. It seems to be the only difference between the two of your plans. What makes you want to give yours away so badly? And what makes her want to keep hers? If she's cremated, they won't exist in their original form. I wish I had been there yesterday for the speaker because they seemed to have had an impact on a lot of people's projects. I find it intriguing that you were so happy to get these forms. It's weird to think that they're even useful at our age, something that I believe a lot of us do not realize. You mentioned that you did not expect them for a couple decades, however then come to the realization that you could die tomorrow. Perhaps we should have more experience with these documents throughout our lives as to not be so surprised when eventually confronted with them.
From Stephen(Protege):
Hey Abdul,
Your most beautiful line was," These are two sheets where I honestly hadn't expected to see for about a decade or so. I guess now was the perfect time since I would have been pretty upset if something bad had happened to me and I hadn't had this on a piece of legal paper." This is a very interesting line because although you didn't expect to see the sheets for a couple years, you soon came to the realization that you could die and day. A wise realization if I must say so myself. Although it may be hard for some people to admit myself included that I could die the next day. Nicely told story Abdul keep up the good work and I look forward to reading your blog posts.
From Bryanna:
Hey Abdul,
I think that it was cool that you could sit down and really talk to your mom about this. As well as her taking this serious because i know that we all going to die but not everyone can talk about nor go out and change the will. So think that is a good relations that you and your mother have good job
From Ms.D(Mentor): Hi Abdul
Your blog seemed to be about this idea that all humans are going to end up rotting no matter what so why don't we stop being selfish and give back to the earth in a "greener" way. Instead of making the decomposition process longer than it should be why don't we just get it over with and give back, even though this may be hard for some of us Americans.
One aspect of your post that I particularly valued was that you provided five alternative to a a typical burial(slow burial). This is more than I learned in my care of the dead unit book. I guess I should have just waited for you to post this amazing blog and just not have read the book. You took the time out to research and not only state but you explained each alternative which is what I greatly appreciated.
Your project matter to me because these are alternatives to our dominant social practice which as we found out in all of the units is more dominant than we would like. These alternatives all have their pro-s and cons,but it seems as though they all outweigh the dominant social practice. I'm not sure if our dominant social practice will change though it appears as though cremation is next on the list to take over which would send us more in the direction of Japan as far as care of the dead is concered. When you think about that isn't to bad since America doesn't seem to know what there doing with issues like oh I don't know food, illness and dying, birth, and care of the dead. Overall great job best work in the class( as hard as that is to admit to myself) I expect nothing more from Mr. Class of 2015 Cornell.
http://normalisweirddevinm.blogspot.com/2011/05/hw-55-culminating-project-care-of-dead.html?showComment=1305676781442#c8043783277546807863
For Abdullah,
Your blog seemed to be about, you wanting to really make a change for care of the dead thus, resulting in an activist project. Read Grave Matters inspired you with the ideas and information it presented however, you felt as though you could take the information and make it more accessible and easier to understand. I think you succeeded.
One aspect of your post that I particularly valued was that you decided to use the resources available to you ( Brooklyn College) to spread the word for your activist project. This is something I truly admire since it does take a lot of courage to go to a college and stand there in hand out fliers. This is truly an activist project, getting out there in the real world and making change.
Your project matters to me because in a way you did three activist projects. You interviewed a High School Student who lives on the other side of America and enlightened him on the death care industry. During this interview I'm sure you fixed many of his misconceptions. The second thing you did was find a Brooklyn College undergrad and interview. What a bold move, whether that person realize it or not you genuinely tried to help them with their life and make the death experience a bit easier for them. The third thing you did was you went out to Brooklyn College. Even though it wasn't necessarily out of your reach you still did it. How many people can actually say they did all of that just for a history project. Well done Abdullah I'm impressed.
http://abdullahisnotweird.blogspot.com/2011/05/hw-55-culminating-project-care-of-dead.html#comments
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From Abdullah,
Abdul,
I thought that the fact that you interviewed your mother was a very courageous move on your part. I can understand how difficult and uncomfortable it must have been to sit there and talk about what she would like to be done with her body when she dies, since the death of a parent is an agonizing experience. I think it is interesting to compare and contrast two different thoughts on taking care of the dead from two different people who come from different educational backgrounds. I think your choice of donating your organs is a noble one and you should stick to that choice.
Good post.
Abdullah
From Natalie:
Abdul,
I think it is interesting that your wants to be cremated with all of her organs, while you are so intent on giving all of yours away. It seems to be the only difference between the two of your plans. What makes you want to give yours away so badly? And what makes her want to keep hers? If she's cremated, they won't exist in their original form. I wish I had been there yesterday for the speaker because they seemed to have had an impact on a lot of people's projects. I find it intriguing that you were so happy to get these forms. It's weird to think that they're even useful at our age, something that I believe a lot of us do not realize. You mentioned that you did not expect them for a couple decades, however then come to the realization that you could die tomorrow. Perhaps we should have more experience with these documents throughout our lives as to not be so surprised when eventually confronted with them.
From Stephen(Protege):
Hey Abdul,
Your most beautiful line was," These are two sheets where I honestly hadn't expected to see for about a decade or so. I guess now was the perfect time since I would have been pretty upset if something bad had happened to me and I hadn't had this on a piece of legal paper." This is a very interesting line because although you didn't expect to see the sheets for a couple years, you soon came to the realization that you could die and day. A wise realization if I must say so myself. Although it may be hard for some people to admit myself included that I could die the next day. Nicely told story Abdul keep up the good work and I look forward to reading your blog posts.
From Bryanna:
Hey Abdul,
I think that it was cool that you could sit down and really talk to your mom about this. As well as her taking this serious because i know that we all going to die but not everyone can talk about nor go out and change the will. So think that is a good relations that you and your mother have good job
From Ms.D(Mentor): Hi Abdul
It's fascinating to me that you are still in high school but have
written up a 'death plan', since I've never considered such a thing.
In fact, I've never see the 'wishes sheet' or other forms and
pamphlets you mentioned. It made me wonder whether planning out one's
death makes a person more or less afraid of dying, and more or less
mindful of their mortality. (I'm not afraid of death, but I'm also not
very good at planning ahead).
I was interested by your mother's wish to keep her ashes in a family
home, passed down over generations. I can imagine that there would be
something comforting about having a remnant of a loved one near, even
symbolically. It reminds me of the many passages in the Bible
describing how difficult it was for people to give up idols and images
and worship a God that they could neither see, hear, nor depict in any
way. When I've seen people pray to Catholic saints, or orishas, or
Hindu goddesses, or images of the Virgin Mary, it seems more
accessible- the worshippers have something that they can see and often
touch, that they know represents something far greater. Ashes seem
similar: we know that they're not the person, not the spirit or soul
or even body of the person we loved, but somehow it can be reassuring
to feel a piece of them physically near.
I wonder how many generations your mother would like her ashes passed
on until. Someone once told me that you die twice- the second and
final time is when your name is spoken for the last time. (This idea
is seen in the quest for immortality in Greek myths, and maybe even
today with the desire for celebrity). Someone else said that you're
only truly dead when the last person who can remember you with love
dies too. If your mother is interested in the former, in being
remembered, then perhaps she'd like the ashes passed down indefinitely
along with stories about her- a kind of immortality. If the latter is
more important, then maybe her ashes would only be passed down to her
eventual grandchildren or great-grandchildren. Or maybe her plan is
less about her legacy, and more about staying near to her descendants,
primarily you; in that case the ashes would be passed down as long as
they were needed. I also noticed that you wrote about her plan in a
matter of fact way, even though thinking about parents dying is often
extremely painful.
As for your plan, I commend you for choosing to donate your organs. As
you've probably already learned, all organs and flesh are eviscerated
during cremation. What people call 'ashes' are actually just remains
from bone and maybe metal fillings in teeth. Since the organs are not
in the ashes (or more accurately cremains) it makes sense for you to
donate them to help others live healthy lives. As far as legacy goes,
donating organs is a powerful way to influence the world even after
death, since you're saving lives and sometimes enabling those whose
lives you saved to bring new life into the world. (That said, it can
be scary to think of one's organs wandering around inside strangers; I
think it's a brave and impressive choice). Have you ever read Never
Let Me Go? It connects directly to this issue (I won't elaborate so as
not to give too much away) and I highly recommend it.
Lastly, I agree with your mother that it is unwise to post private
documents online. You actually have a lot of personal information on
this blog, about your own views but also about your family members'
opinions and experiences, and I recommend deleting it all when this
course is over. Privacy is so much more precious and threatened than
we realize, and even if we're proud of our experiences and confident
in our viewpoints, it doesn't necessarily mean that we want the person
we met at a party or a potential boss to read intimate details of our
upbringing and beliefs. At least I don't. Your mother sounds like a
smart woman!
I've enjoyed reading your posts, Abdul. Sorry I haven't always
responded in a timely manner. Congratulations on wrapping up your
final semester as a high school student!
XC: COTD # 5 Six Feet Under
"Pilot." Six Feet Under. HBO: 3 June, 2001. Television. 17 May 2011.
Six feet under is basically a comedy which revolves around a family of undertakers. Since their undertakers they have a very interesting kind of sadistic way a living.The first episode starts off with these three siblings who find out their father was killed in a car accident .Nate who is one of the sons works in Seattle must travel to town to deal with his father's death. Nate's brother David is a homosexual(though I'm not sure his family knows this)is secretly sleeping with a male police officer. Their mother Ruth has to confess that she's been having an affair with a hairdresser. Oh and there is the sister Claire who seems to be the most normal of the family. Episode one shows you how family surrounded by death by nature deals with their own personal deaths, kind of how the rest of the world does so. No one is immune to death and everyone suffers at least once because of death.
The Will." Six Feet Under. HBO: 10 June, 2001. Television. 17 May 2011.
Episode two shows this inventor that dies leaving behind his family to take care of all of his problems and debts. There's not even any money left over for a decent funeral. Nate from episode one comes and offers them some help since he is also grieving for his father's loss.He proposes a unique idea one I've never even heard. He told them to rent out a casket for awake like purposes, and then later on when they gather more money they can cremate their father. This would have been a genius plan but it's currently illegal to sell back a used casket.While the reading of the will takes place , Ruth receives many gifts which include stocks, cash and insurance. As for the the rest of the family the funeral business ends up getting split between David and Nate much to Nate's dismay, as for Claire she gets a college fun. Basically everyone wins, how nice is that. Episode two shows an example of dealing with the death of a family member, and dealing with the legal responsibilities(wills etc). This is a process most people in America go to so it can relate to the audiences which is good.
The Foot." Six Feet Under. HBO: 17 June, 2001. Television. 15 May 2011.
Episode three shows a bakery owner die, which leaves Federico to take care for the death.The third episode explores how a family or anybody really can rise pass whatever tragedy their stricken with and go on with their merry lives.
Episodes Consolidation of Dominant Social Practices:
Six Feet Under seems to really focus on the emotional aspect of care of the dead. It helps prove that the experts, on death are still subject to the emotional/mental, and even physical stress that comes from death. Just like with Birth even doctors get sick, while being doctor may help reduce this chances it can't stop it from happening. With death even undertakes die/have to deal with personal death's, while being an undertaker may reduce the stress associated with death it doesn't stop it from happening.
Six Feet Under is an interesting show because it attempts to challenge the dominant social practices of grieving for the deceased. Six Feet under shows that no matter how much time and effort we put in there is no way guaranteed way to prepare yourself for death. Six Feet Under does challenge the idea of being able to move past the seemly impossible grievance period. Each episode revolves around death in a different way. As of episode three I don't see how's it's possible for this family to escape the idea of death I mean they do come from an undertaker family after all.
Six Feet Under is an interesting show because it attempts to challenge the dominant social practices of grieving for the deceased. Six Feet under shows that no matter how much time and effort we put in there is no way guaranteed way to prepare yourself for death. Six Feet Under does challenge the idea of being able to move past the seemly impossible grievance period. Each episode revolves around death in a different way. As of episode three I don't see how's it's possible for this family to escape the idea of death I mean they do come from an undertaker family after all.
Monday, May 16, 2011
XC: COTD #1 Cemeteries
On Saturday I decided to visit two cemeteries. The first cemetery I visited was the New York City Marble Cemetery. My first thoughts on the cemetery were to see tombstones sticking out of the ground. I was actually shocked since all of the tombstones were flat on the ground. Another thing I noticed is as soon as you enter a cemetery you feel sort of self-conscience. I mean I know I don't believe in ghosts but just knowing that your stepping over peoples graves and bodies just makes me really uncomfortable. This was one of the less attractive looking cemeteries that I've ever seen. I mean I've only been to two this one and Cypress Hills Cemetery which is the other one I visited. While at Marble cemetery I also realized to myself I've never been at a cemetery unless I was visiting a deceased relative. I found it very weird just snapping photos and observing a cemetery. A cemetery is just not a place where happiness is expected.
On Sunday I decided to visit one more cemetery. This time it was completely different. The moment I entered the cemetery I felt sad. My whole family is buried in this cemetery all within 1000ft of one another so being here was quite emotional for me which was unexpected. This cemetery was much more fancy than Marble cemetery and about 10x the size. Due to my knowledge Cypress Hills is the largest cemetery in the city. My family section is so far away I had to be driven to the tombstones. In the car it took about 10 minutes to get there. When I finally got there all I could do was play back the funeral service of my grandmother in my head. Her funeral was the last funeral I've been to which was in 2007. Her tombstone still looked as beautiful as ever although I was a bit angry since the grass underneath her tombstone seemed as though it was being cared for poorly. I figured it was best to not say anything since I had the driver wait 10 minutes for me to drive me back. Before I left I dropped off some new flowers which you can see in the picture and I cried the whole drive back to the entrance. Being in cemeteries just isn't fun, my brain has made an automatic association with cemeteries and death that I don't think can ever be erased.
Since I was taking the picture it was hard for me to get in the picture, and also the driver was rushing me so this is the best I have.
Since I was taking the picture it was hard for me to get in the picture, and also the driver was rushing me so this is the best I have.
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